No more death...

My sister in law just called... my father in law has suffered something life threatening (I couldn't make out what it was as my mother in law was crying, I think she said thrombosis).
They are bringing him to the hospital from the mountains and time is running out.
Will you please pray for him?? His name is John.

As for me, I called our babysitter, I want the kids out of the house and we might also need to go to the hospital anyway so it seemed prudent to have someone on standby.
I wholeheartedly pray that he gets 100% better..because frankly, I can't stand any more death...tomorrow marks 13 months since my father died... I've had enough grief, my family has had enough grief, my kids have had enough grief losing a grandfather, to lose another one... so please God... don't. Just don't :(
 

The one in which I didn't want to sculpt...

It's been a while since I posted so let me catch you up :)
We had a nice, quiet summer. I felt I had earned it because of what happened last summer. Dad up there really made it up to me :) Thanks Dad!!

There was one teensy bitsy problem though.. all through the summer I felt totally uninspired!!
I just couldn't sculpt... or rather, I would start something but didn't finish it. You will be amazed at the amount of OOAK heads I have in my studio at the moment!!
I didn't realize why until the boys started school last week... I was exhausted!! With no help, 3 full months of just me and the boys, without even an HOUR for some me time, I was reaching my limit.
Not only that but we are the stage where they bicker constantly... and talk back! OMGosh the talking back!!! I have often exclaimed (only half joking!), "I will strangle them!" lol. Which of  course I would never do ;) just saying...

So they have been in full days at school for a week now..and guess what?
I have already finished two OOAKs (one of them being the OOAK Gus who I restored, and Ellis is next). I got my mojo back!! Some sleeping in (yes I do admit, I sent them off to school and then catch an extra hour of sleep in the morning since I usually sculpt until 2-3am each night), some peace and QUIET around the apartment... voila! Instant transformation!! I am sculpting again!
Not only that, I am ready to tackle a couple of big projects that have been on my mind for a while now :)

I have many surprises for you, my dear collectors and reborners saved up for this winter :)
Can wait to show my OOAK of Gus, fully restored. I added a neck and made him new limbs, since they took quite a beating beyond saving during molding for the vinyl. Originally I thought I would save them and worked really hard on them for more than a month... should have just gone with new ones, would have taken me less time, ha!! Eventually I gave up on them and just made new!
The head (his and Ellis') is in pristine condition so he only took some repainting :)
I also did 3 new mini babies... and something I can't talk about yet as it's a surprise :)
I am looking forward to a very creative winter, during which I get my sculpting mojo back, clear out my studio and get ready for new, exciting and big projects!!!

Stay tuned!!! Happy Winter everyone!!
 

A year ago today...

Today is the 15th August. I have talked about it many times here on my blog, but it is the biggest Christian Orthodox holiday (other than Easter) here in Greece. It is the day that Mary, the Mother of Christ, dies... it is also my nameday since I am named after her (Despina) and she is also my patron saint, the one I feel guides and helps me... she is also the one I prayed to (went to the appropriate church built in her name and made a pledge) when I couldn't get pregnant and she gave me my boys...

It is of course a bank holiday here in Greece... a year ago today I had no idea my dad was dying... I can describe to you in every detail the ride in the ambulance as I took my dad to the hospital, where he would spend the last 11 days of his life... It was past 10 as we rode the empty streets of Athens, the inhabitants on holiday or enjoying the day at some beach bar or with someone who was celebrating their nameday...
I can recall the faces of the paramedics, I can recall what my dad wore, I can even recall the number on the ambulance... and I can recall that I had no idea this would be my dad's last ride... I really thought he had a mysterious infection and that he would pull through.

It was a lousy day today... for the rest of the world, it is not a holiday, so I replied to e-mails to keep my mind off things. I worked a little... I am alone, just me and Cody today. John has gone to his grandma's for a few days, George is on duty.
I let Cody do whatever he wanted today... I was not in the mood for mothering :( but it is also Cody's nameday because when I made my pledge to Mary I told her that if she would give me a baby, I would baptize him/her to her name... so Cody is also named Panagiotis (a name we gave given Mary, Panagia - which means All Saint) and John is also named Mario (from Maria - Mary).

I made us oven baked pasta and let him play his Nintendo for hours... Then asked him where he wanted to go. We ended up eating waffles with ice cream.. then he wanted to go bowling.. I was not in the mood... however somewhere in the middle of the game I felt happier and found myself smiling.

Now as he tries to sleep (it is hard without his brother!), I write this, I realize how a year ago today I had no idea my life was going to change so much. I have long stopped walking to my door, lunch or dinner on hand to bring to my dad before remembering he is gone... I have now stopped weaping at the sight of his car parked outside the apartment building (but have yet to muster the courage to unlock it and sit in it in fear it will smell like him still).
But I have never stopped missing him... I can go about my days not thinking about him for the most part, then BANG! I will realize in a start he is gone!! And it feels like an ice cold hand clutching my heart...

I still think he should have told me... I still have regrets... I could have done more, spent more time with him... if I knew these were his last days, I wouldn't have left his side... but there was a house to run, a husband to feed, two kids to take care of and of course work...
I wish I could turn back time... but I can't.

I don't go to the grave much. Graves never meant much to me... I don't think a person's essense is in the ground. I feel my dad around me and I see him in the stars so to speak much more than in a grave. In fact it saddens me to think that under the concrete I lay my flowers on, his body is rotted to nothing... my dad isn't there. My dad is here with me, with the boys and in Heaven watching me... not under 10 feet of soil.
Is it weird? Maybe... I know people worship grave sites but I am not one of them. I do not believe we are corporeal anyway... the soul is freed and roams around in my mind. I can feel his hand in things sometimes and I can hear his voice when I need to and it comforts me.
I know my dad would linger, he wouldn't leave me alone... so I feel him all around me all the time.

The day is winding down now, it is past 11 here... I remember exactly where we were a year ago. I used to anticipate my nameday as a day of celebration but now I dread it.
On the 26th, it will be a year since I last saw him... we will have a grave side blessing as per Greek Orthodox tradition and I will hand out the special things we give out... I will bake the little cakes, and make the Kollyva (wheat with sugar and nuts representing the Resurrection)... I will light candles in his name...and I guess I will cry a lot that day.

So weird... the good and the bad together mixing... I was never a "gray" kind of girl. Always black or white. I don't think I can process the good and the bad all in one go. I prefer more clean cut lines... you are either sad or happy.. .you can't be both. How can you be happy in the face of such tragedy? My dad is gone... why am I smiling? :(

I miss you Daddy... I always will...

On lice and men...

Ever since we got back from our summer vacation, both me and John have had a terrible itchy head...
I had checked the poor kid like twenty times and there was nothing... I had also checked myself twenty times and saw nothing... so I thought it was a) either nerves or b) all that chlorine from the pool water that made my hair hard like wires, dried out my scalp...

Fast forward to today when I decided to check John again... and OMGosh, there was LICE!!! Live, wringling, moving lice!!! Not many, like 5 or 6 of them and not too big but they were there!!!
Then I checked Cody (who was not itchy)... and out came 2-3 more!!!
(I had none but I assume it is because I dye my hair - too many gray hairs not to - and apparently they either die because of it of my hair smells of chemicals lol).

So the boys got a treatment and enjoyed playing in the tub for 15 minutes while it worked it's magic... rinse and repeat next week...

The problem is, I was raised to believe that head lice means you are not a good enough mom. If you child gets head lice it means you are not paying attention or something. I don't know why I had this notion but let's say and agree, my mom is a very weird person and she passed it down to me. She also warned me when I came out of private school to complete High School (public High School - my mom freaking out!) that I shouldn't play with kids of a lower social status than me. (told ya my mom was weird - my best friend in High School was a former preemie with CP!!)

So anyway back to head lice... I got a panic attack! My KIDS HAVE LICE!!! I am a terrible mom!!!
My hairdresser who knows me all my life shrugged and said "ah, so what? Head lice is nothing... everybody gets it!!" she was so... so CASUAL about it!! And here I am freaking out, ready to burns the sheets and their clothes... I am ready to disinfect the dog too!! Do dogs get lice? Because John's dog sleeps with him and they rub hair and fur all the time!! OMGosh!! Does my dog have LICE too??
Here comes my panic attack... I am off to burn the sheets... hopefully I can spare the dog!!!

Baby A...

If you are on Facebook, and are my friend, make sure you stop by my group "Creating Baby A" (or drop me a line to add you). In this group I am sharing with all of you the process of sculpting a very unique baby (and pretty if I might say so myself!)
In fact this is her foot I just finished above :) Cool huh?

Early Bird in resin

It's been a while since I've shown you any new work, with the kits coming in, the other kits in production, the silicones, the book, the kids, summer.... ugh. Overwhelmed doesn't begin to cover it... oh! Did I mention the impromptu apartment rennovation we are having?
The one where I leave on vacation for a week and I come and my cleaning lady decided she wanted to re-do my entire apartment... and I walk in and there are boxes everywhere, and my tools are gone (still missing!!) and it took me 3 hrs (!!) to locate my box of certificates and you still walk in and think we are moving out... ugh!!!!
I could just strangle her... but she's been with us for years and years and I know she meant well... except I am PISSED OFF!!!

Ok...calming breaths, calming breaths... where was I?
Oh yes!! Early Bird.
At least this little guy puts a smile on my face. I am SOOOOO in love with him...and he is a tiny edition of 15 plus 3 APs...and I've already sold 3... and I have one right here I mean to paint these days.

Here is my little realistic preemie cutie.

This little guy would be a fantastic model for a NICU as he is to a "T" a preemie of 31 weeks. I had originally planned to make him a full body plate, but eventually decided against it to keep his price lower. But if you would like one for NICU display, I can match the resin to my clay and make you a clay body plate for him.

Contact me if you might be interested in one. There is no waiting, I have one right here and 4 in the mail to me :)
Until next time
Tina

Kidney woes

I am now convinced there is NO worse pain in the entire world but kidney pain. OH.MY.LORD... giving birth has nothing on this kind of pain.

It seems both G and I caught someting while in the Netherlands...and because I do have kidney problems since birth, it hit straight there :(
And the darn antibiotics sensitivity panel TAKES FOREVER!!!! I have been home since Tuesday morning and I will get the results TODAY :(
Thankfully the rest of the tests were ok so even though IT HURTS LIKE... well you know like what, my kidneys are not affected yet ...

BRING ON THE ANTIBIOTICS!!!!
I apologize if I seem a little MIA but I spent the last 3 days trying to get comfortable anywhere...with no luck :( it hurts, plain and simple... yuck!

Vinyls facts :)

Hello everyone!
My Gus and Ellis kits have been delivered...well, HALF of  them but it's ok because by the time I have shipped these, the other half will have arrived lol :)
I can't open the door to my apartment... will be VERY happy to see the boxes empty and the kits shipped off to their mommies :)

I just wanted to take a minute and talk vinyl with you... Someone told me that someone has been going around saying the vinyl for Gus and Ellis is rock hard...
This is NOT true... Please check my Facebook page where I have uploaded videos of me "squeeshing" the parts. The vinyl is no different than my other kits!!

I also wanted to take a moment and say that I know you girls like the "soft" vinyl... like, SUPER soft... but let me explain why I will never go for the super soft kind... Vinyl softeness depends on how much vinyl you use, how thick it is... A softer vinyl will be lighter, so probably, also cheaper as it goes by weight.
Also it will be more transparent (please trust me on this, my first sample for Jack was very soft, couldn't keep it's shape and when I stuffed it, I could see the white stuffing inside!!!). And it will get too soft in the oven... touch it the wrong way and you've messed up the shape. I know, I've left a nice dent into it!!! With my finger!! Couldn't get it off...
And... there is a greater chance it will melt in the oven too...

I have tried very hard to come to a balance between the vinyl thickness being a quality thing and it still be soft. It costs me WAY more, yes...but all I want to do is give you a good quality product.
The vinyl I use is NOT rock hard... it is not sponge soft either. It is a nice soft vinyl, that will keep it's shape, take the paint well, is non toxic and phalate free...and made in Germany :) in the best factory!!

Please if you have any questions, don't hesitate to mail me. I will be happy to help!!
Also don't forget to show me pics of your reborn Gus and Ellis!!
hugs
Tina

What is it that you REALLY want?

Is there a material thing that is missing from your life? That, because you do not have it, your life is harder/more complicated? Is there something that if you had it, you would be so much happier (because your life would be easier/less complicated)?

For me this "material thing" is a house... a proper one.. I would settle for a bigger apartment even.
We live in a tiny two bedroom one. I guess when we bought it ten years ago, it seemed huge...and it DOES fit a childless couple REALLY well... but with two kids... NO WAY.

We are crammed to the bursting point. The apartment has no storage area... it only has two small (and I do mean SMALL) closets. My boys have been in a bunk since they were 3 because we couldn't fit two beds in their room. This year when we bought them two tiny IKEA plastic tables to use as desks, they were left with a tiny square of space in the middle of the room to play with. Not really enough room to even lay out their toys :(

My bathroom barely fits one person standing in it. When I sit on the...emh... toilet, my thigh touches the washing machine (in Greece each house has one, there are no laundry mats and shared washers in buildings).

Often hubby will say "put that away" and I will answer "WHERE?" there is no SPACE... and I de-clutter regularly..at least x4 a year.
We have no place to store a christmas tree. I haven't saved ANY of the boys' old toys or clothes or baby items save for a handful because I have nowhere to put them.

And in case one wants to be alone? Ha! We have two couches worth of space in our living room to sit in. That's it.
I would love to say my tiny apartment is filled with love... well it IS.. but it is also NOT suited for us. It makes me miserable. :( We can't breathe in here :( and I don't know what we will do if we ever have a 3rd child or when the boys get bigger! (yikes!!!).

The problem is hubby is super resistant to change. Pick up and go is not an option for him. He does NOT WANT TO MOVE... but then again he spends VERY little time in the apartment as he works two jobs and is gone most of the day.

I see all those beautiful houses in the US and UK and Australia via my friends' blogs and my heart sings for a bigger place... a small backyard... I wish.. I wish...

So what is the one material thing that would make your life better/easier/happier???

Discover Dolls International Doll Show

Here is my list of babies for sale at the Discover Dolls International Doll Show next week, June 9th and 10th @ Peterborough, UK

2 Resin Early Birds (new sculpt, amazing preemie) @ 550 GBP each (regular price 750 GBP)
6 Resin Natalies (5" baby) special edition @ 90 GBP each (regular price 280 GBP)
1 Life size newborn OOAK boy @ 900 GBP (regular price 1170 GBP)
My prototype of JACK (sold out edition) @ 450 GBP
My prototype of ELLIS (sold out edition) @ 550 GBP

I will be able to take CREDIT CARDS via PayPal as I will have my netbook with me and an internet connection. Just log in to your PayPal to pay on the spot :)
All babies will come with loads of goodies, COAs and in a beautiful presentation box.
I apologize but I can't do layaway at this time as I have nowhere to leave the babies and can't carry them back with me on the plane (I shipped them there directly!).

See you there!!! :)

Hugs
Tina

Going insane

I don't know what is wrong with me today... I think I am going insane!
I feel like a turtle turned on it's back... I woke up this morning, exhausted... I got the boys out the door like 5 minutes late... I had an appointment to get my hair cut because I can't see, they are in my eyes... I forgot what time was the apointment... then I tried to call the salon only to discover I had lost their phone number!!

I *thought* my appt was for 10 o'clock. I showed up at 9.55 only to find out I was 25 mins late!!!! My apointment was for 9.30!!! I got my hair cut anyway, then came home to make Kollyva (it's a traditional mixture of wheat, nuts, raisins, sugar and spices made whenever you want to "remember" your dead. And since I didn't make it on Saturday for dad, I wanted to make it today - it sounds odd but it is VERY tasty and full of nutrients).

Anyway, I burned the wheat!!! At the same time I had put Ellis' limbs in the oven to set the paint and I forgot to set the timer. Thankfully they didn't melt but I have no idea how long I baked them for (they are ok!)

Then I tried to work out John's dental appointment (under general anesthesia) only to be told that it will be next week or... whenever!! yikes! I will be gone next week!! But it's kind urgent now so George will have to fill in...
Then I was asked if I had all his tests done...and realized I had misplaced the paper detailing the blood tests I need to have them run (privately of course because our health system sucks). I turned the apartment upside down and created a huge mess for an hour until I found them...

Then I tried to work on Ellis a little more to decide I hate the way the foot looks...so I took all the color off..and now I've ruined it!!!! :(
I need to start over...
I couldn't conentrate on work, so I thought I would cook... yeah you guessed it... a big mess (but I didn't burn it at least).

I HAVE NO BRAIN TODAY!!! What is WRONG with me???
I have so much to do, so little time to do it in, I think this is one of those days that I need to drop everything, take the boys to the park and come back to it later tonight. I destroy everything I touch. I have been writing this post for 2 hours now... I started writing it, then got up, then forgot about it and here I am two hours finishing it!

I think I will go to bed... before the next thing I touch blows up!! Then try again in an hour, after I've had a nap!

The question of time....

Ok so you know how we always say "Time flies"?? and how we never seem to have enough hours in a day to get things done?
Recently I discovered that I am plagued by this which I knew... however I was mortified to discover I am also plagued by this other thing... energy or rather, the lack of it. It's no big secret that after the Pneumonia (it deserves a capital P, trust me), it took me almost two whole months to feel like myself. Long after the coughing and the shortness of breath and the fever had subsided, I was still getting dizzy walking 10 feet and I was in bed by 9, shortly after the boys... people, we are talking I am a night owl... I don't feel sleepy until after the clock has turned into an am digit...
Slooooooowly and I do mean sloooooowly I regained my stamina (although I still get dizzy walking from time to time especially if I've had no breakfast lol)

Which brings us to yesterday... crazy day... but then lately all days have been crazy. It's getting close to the show and the delivery of my Gus and Ellis kits so naturally I have a lot on my plate and on my mind. The more involved I am with work, the naughtier the boys are... close the door to the room so I can do my auction in peace, and it's an invitation for them to try and break it down..

I had been planning to put up Gus for auction for DAYS now... did you see the auction go live DAYS ago? Nope... because I only managed to get it up YESTERDAY!!!
Hubby was told to help... he said ok... except his idea of helping and my idea of helping are totally different things:

My idea: Get the kids off my back, keep them fed, happy, take them to the park for crying out loud. Sit down and play with them, watch a movie with them...etc

His idea: Yell at them to leave mom alone (while sitting on his PC playing Farmville) and send them to their room. :(

This weekend has been teeth grinding... firstly, it was my dad's 9 month anniversary on Saturday. We were supposed to go to the cemetery and leave flowers, have a priest say a blessing... Hubby decided he would be doing private lessons to some guy... right in the middle of last few days before the show of course because his timing has always been fantastic <--insert sarcasm here.
Of course he did not come to the cemetery to honor my dad (priorities all screwed up much???)

My mom demanded I go pick them up. I explained that we cannot fit in my car... she said "take the car seats out, we will hold the boys in our laps" ... <-- insert Tina's horror face here.
But mom is like that... instead of thinking how she can help someone, she always thinks how people can serve her. Not only that but the cemetery is a 5 minute bus ride from their place or a 5 minute cab ride. But of course busses and taxis are not for them, right? Whereas me, who lives on the other side of town, have the time/obligation to swing by and pick them up (they are not on the way to the cemetery from where I live).
Needless to say, they did not show up at the cemetery either but I did get an earful because I didn't play chauffer...

I was feeling all crappy as we walked back to the car in the heat... the boys were moody, Cody kept saying he is missing his grandpa and "if he could only hear his voice one more time he would be happy"... I was grinding my teeth SO hard trying not cry in front of them... then as we nearing the car, John found a sticker on the pavement... it is one of those Euroleague trading card/stickers Cody collects!!
Then just a few steps from the car, on the lawn, sat a Beyblade thingie looking brand new. It wasn't there before...
It was Cody's nameday last Monday.. now you try and tell me this wasn't my dad's hand giving Cody two of his favorite things for his nameday!!!

After that I took the boys out for ice cream... we got home at 3pm at which time I still hadn't cooked. So I did that, had a few words with George because I was steaming mad at him (do you blame me?)
I wanted to get some work done but by the time I had cooked and eaten and cleaned, I was exhausted... <-- insert the energy issue thingie here
Of course I still had to do the shopping so I "popped" to ther super market at 7pm. There goes my day. I did maybe a few photos for Gus' auction and a little bit of work otherwise. During all this time George played on his PC and then took a nap!!!

Then on Sunday I wanted to get the auction up. Finished doing the photos and did the template. The kids would not leave me alone. They were in the room every 6 minutes wanting something or other, usually begging to get my cell phone so they could play games... George was supposed to watch them so I could work... yeah... allowing them to interrupt someone every 5 minutes is not watching them, George.

I finally managed to get the auction up and running and by the time I had cooked, walked the dog (x3), tidied up and did a tiny bit of work, I was exhausted again. I was in bed my 10pm last night. I just could.not.keep.my.eyes.open!!!

So I have shockingly discovered that it is not only an issue of "time flies".. but of energy as well. I could have worked a good 2-3 hours after 10pm last night, except I was literally falling asleep (I fell asleep on the couch while holding my coffee which was supposed to wake me up!)

Now the boys are at school and I can FINALLY get some work done. Ugh... except I am still tired!!!! grrrrrrrr

Welcome to the world...

Welcome to the world Baby Gus... we've waited so long for you, but you were SO worth it!!!

On being a mom...

If you've been reading for my blog for a while you surely know by now that being a mom was all I ever wanted to be... sure I wanted to go to College and get a job but what I have always wanted to do was be a mom...

Being a mom is not an easy job. You have your days when the stars align and your kids are amazingly behaved and cute and funny and all you can think of is "I want to eat you up!!". At least I do :)
And there are days that your kids seem to flip a switch and suddenly they are slowly and methodically grinding your patience down to non-existent ... I yell at them then. I admit, I am a yeller!! And a "you are on time-out buddy" ... and I take away priviledges :)

For the past few days, it's been like this I'm afraid... tantrum after tantrum, a huuuuge struggle to just get them into clothes and get them out the door... everything is a struggle and not because you want them to do something they hate doing ... for instace I wanted to take the kids out for a fun day shopping, eating out and playing in a cool playground they love... By the time we got there, I wanted to strangle them for all their whining... lol :)

Yesterday for the first year ever, hubby FINALLY got it and made the boys write me sweet messages and let me sleep in until 9am (!!!) :)
Then I drove them 50 minutes so they could ride horses (John decided against it) and play with friends :)
We had a blast and I was in bed by 11... I am so tired I fell asleep on the couch (NEVER happens) :)

I love my boys...I love being a mom... even on the hard days ;)

For dad...

This one's for you dad...

"Gus" production sample in vinyl, reborn by Tina Kewy.
In memory of my daddy, C. "Gus" Koutsouropoulos 5th March 1950 - 26th August 2011

Surprise!!!

Ellis' head got a bit squished in that box :) So pics of her tomorrow, after she is.... ehm... reformed :)

It's Great Thursday

Well at least that is the translation in English... I guess you can call it Good Thursday too... in Greek Orthodox tradition, we have a "Grand/Great/Good" day all week leading up to Easter Sunday.

Today, we went to the farmers market and got white eggs... Which I am hard boiling right now, while I write this short post.I successfully resisted the urge to buy a duckling at the market... I am sure Beau would make him breakfast!

After the eggs are boiled, the boys and I will color them...
Then this afternoon we will attend church and pay our respects to Jesus on the cross, with a flowery wreath.
The bells will sound sad as they remove (the wooden) Jesus from the cross and tomorrow they will decorate his final resting place with the flowers from the wreaths... and we will pay our respects tomorrow. Then in the evening, we will walk around burning yellow candles (mourning candles) after what I guess I can only describe as Jesus' coffin... This year I will take Cody with me. I don't think that a) I can trust John with a burning candle and b) it will be past his bedtime and c) the sensory overload will drive him bananas.

What are you doing today?
Hugs
Tina

Easter Week

Well, it's Easter Week here in Greece... a week after half the world's lol :)

The boys are on their two week break from school and already in two days, I am pulling my hair out. It's one mischief after another... I can't even count anymore the number of times I grounded them, took a priviledge away or put them in time out! And it's only been 48 hrs!!!
How will I survive the next twelve days!?!?!?
On Sunday for instance, I put John on time out in his room for ruining the living room... and he climbed on top of my ironing board which I keep behind their door and broke it...
Then yesterday I put him in his room again for hitting Cody, lying to me and being sassy and he emptied his entire closet of freshly ironed clothes (each one by hand!) on the floor...

But don't think John is the only one misbehaving! Cody was on time out or had his Xbox priviledges taken away just as much as John... plus they have been waking up at the crack of dawn...and I've got tonsilitis (John gave it to me.. oh Joy!). But I am better now except the horrible runny nose, the antibiotics kicked in and today I am fairly ok.. except I need to sleep for about 2 months to feel rested ;)

I apologize in advance if I am slow replying to e-mails this week. I will do my best stealing moments on the PC but between me wanting to follow the Greek Orthodox traditions on each day of this week and the boys out of school, honestly I might not get a lot done. So please do not worry if you don't hear from me :)

A little birdie tells me though, I might have something special to show you next week... ;) and I am very excited and can't wait!!!

Happy Easter to all of you who haven't celebrated it yet... and Happy Easter belatedly to those who have!!!

Sad news

I have always been kind of a loner in life... I was too different as a child to really fit in at school. I was a quiet child but... different somehow... like John so I didn't have many friends. I was called names, a freak and other things. I was always excluded at parties... I was never in with the "cool" crowd. I always hung out with the nerds or those who others thought of as outsiders.
Of course when I was 12 my mom kicked my dad out so I was "that" kid as well...

Eventually I learned to hide who I really was and put a mask society would approve... so I would appear "normal" and things became a little easier for me. I picked up the social queues by copying others, mostly though without really understanding them but it worked.

I've always few people in my life. Plus the fact that the most important social years of my life I spent abroad, I only stayed in Greece because I wanted George.
One of the few people in my life who really knew me, was dad and he is gone.
Then I only have one close friend who is on the same page as me. In fact she is a sister in everything but blood. And today I learned she is leaving... permanently :( to the other side of the country.
We did everything together. Our kids did everything together.I tried so hard to appear happy for her. I didn't want to be selfish.. but then she started to cry and I started to cry... and it was all a big mess.

I have one other amazing friend and we talk every day and I love her but her child is older and though we do have a ton in common, she is just a little further ahead of me in the game.
I feel miserable. I live in a tiny apartment I hate, in a part of town I did not chose, away from any other family or friends... I've been here 10 years and I don't know anybody. Everybody is seems is busy with their own life.. I tried to make friends but I can't. I feel I am the one who always calls and makes invitations but if I drop it, they won't even miss me :(
I am not good at this social stuff... but I try.

I want to be happy for my friend.. I AM happy for her.. but I am also sad... and I can't stop crying. We will still talk every day but I will one see her a few times a year if that. I will no longer be able to pick up the phone and tell her "meet me there" and do fun stuff with our kids any more. It seems everyone in my life is moving on and I am stuck here... like wearing shoes that are too tight but I can't get rid of them... I am stuck here in Athens, in this tiny apartment, in this crummy life, doing things I don't want to do and not doing the things I want to do... I feel like I can't breathe...

About Gus and Ellis

My dear collectors,
I know a lot of speculation has been going on for a while now about the delay in releasing Gus and Ellis. I even know a few think I am the only reason of the delay so I wanted to make a post to clarify.

First of all, I do not control production. I do not make them myself and they are not ready to ship from the factory and are not getting shipped because I have no money. This is a lie! Money is not an issue for the delay in production.
I also feel hurt when I hear "this is the first time a kit has been delayed so much" when I can name at least two more that were just as or more delayed but I won't because I know the artists and I know they faced similar problems as me.

I started out making the kits the way I felt they should be made because I wanted to please *you*, the collector and reborner. I chose a good, German factory, with good quality vinyl even thouh it costs an arm and a leg to have them produced there instead of China... and I hold the factory in very, very high respect. But I am green at doing this. I had no idea delays like these happen and as I have been told, they are actually common!! The factories get busy too...

I am very disappointed it is taking so long, very, very stressed out (my boys told me the other day I don't smile anymore)... and I am pushing as hard as I can believe me.
Please understand that I want NOTHING more than to get them out to the dealers and you and that I have everything to gain by doing so! For example I thought that after they had been shipped off, I would have enough earnings to pay off the dark cloud of therapy debt that insurance won't cover for my sons and have a little extra to take a few days vacation locally and just breathe a sigh of deep relief and enjoy my boys to whom I snap at more often that should be allowed these days :(... I haven't had a vacation in almost a year... not a single day off.

Yet Easter is around the corner and not only have not gotten a vacation, or paid any debt, I spend my days in a dark gloom, stressed out beyond belief...for something that was supposed to be SO happy. I haven't paid my electricity bill because on top of the delay, I also got pneumonia that had me out of commission a good two months so I couldn't make any OOAKs to sell... and I do support my family and put bread on the table off the dolls as many of you know.

I DO understand you, the collector yearn to have them, I do too... but you must accept that for me the ramifications of the delays are SO huge in all levels... All I am asking if for a little more time. They WILL COME, and soon, the molds are made but I did ask for one correction to be made to a joint... Time, that is all I am asking. A little bit (more) of your kind patience.
Thank you so much for your time!!
Yours truly,
Tina