Better late than never

I sincerely apologize. With all that's been going on I completely forgot to wish everyone Happy Holidays, maybe because, in all honesty, it does not feel very festive around here! We just slap on a smile for the boys, then bawl our eyes out when they are in bed, asleep :(


So, let me make it up to you!

 May your 2013 be better than 2012 but worse than 2014. May you enjoy amazing health, good fortune and love from everyone around you. May 2013 be *creative* and *fun* and filled with small everyday surprises...

He is gone...

My father in law just passed not two hours ago. I have sent the boys to a neighbor awaiting George's return. My husband is hard to read even in "easy" times so I am not sure what to expect, plus he is sleepless, so I thought it best if the boys gave him some space.
Cody took it like I thought he would; he cried and expressed him emotions. He is moody and irritable. John showed no emotion. The news passed over him like rain over glass.
He asked some questions, then went on talking about his videogames. It was as if I had just told him "it's going to rain tomorrow".

I have always thought death to be hard only on the living, those left behind and it is no secret I firmly believe that some fates are worse than death.
It took my father in law being tormented like he was for several months to make me realize that my own father, got a "sweet" deal after all.

Long before he knew he was going to die, one sunny afternoon, we were sitting in his veranta and he said to me "There is only one thing I fear; to be in constant pain for a long time before I die. I don't wanna live like that."
God showed mercy, because my dad only suffered 11 days, and those in the hospital under heavy duty pain killers. At the time I didn't believe it, but now that it happened to someone else close to me, I thank God for the mercy he showed my father.

My father in law, John, was in the hospital for almost 3 months. He endured at least 6, hours upon hours long procedures, immense pain and torment before he died. I will always view death in the face of such torment, as a mercy, as a release.
The task of putting the pieces back together now falls unto us, the living.
I must support my husband and my kids who grieve for their grandfather. I will need to be a single parent for a while, while my husband finds his footing again.

The next few days will be busy but less difficult than the months to follow. You keep busy with funeral arrangements and you have friends and family near by to comfort you and even take your mind off your own grief for a while. Plus it hasn't really been a long time since the event, not enough to really drive home the nagging feeling that you will see your person again soon.

As time goes on, friends and family return to their own lives, as they should. It is not their grief after all... and then you are left alone with nothing to do, trying to figure out where to go from here.
I felt unhinged when my father died because he was, for all intends and purposes, my only real family, in the sense he was always there for me and acted fatherly.

I don't know what to do for George as my husband keeps to himself even on a day to day basis.
I feel a little lost...

Please say a prayer for all of us left behind. Pray that George will find his own peace; pray for peace for my boys also and lastly, even if it sounds a little selfish, pray that I too, stay strong for all of them.

T.

Lil'Gus OOAK for sale

This is a once in a life opportunity :)
After many months, the OOAK from which Gus was produced is ready for adoption.
He had some damage from the molding process but I worked hard and about 50% of him is brand new.
I did some changes (as you will see in the pics) and he does have some minor flaws but not more or less than any other hand made OOAK :)
This is your once in a life time chance to own a very famous, sought after and adorably cute Kewy OOAK in a low price.
Because of his small flaws he is sold as is for only $1200 ($1250 for Australia or if you want Express Shipping).

He will come with a full layette of brand name clothing...because he is a Prince and we need to spoil him :)
I am also giving the new mommy the option of painted or glued on hair!!

Here is a list of what I did to him:
Gave him a proper neck.
Left hand was perfect coming off the molding, so didn't do anything to it.
Right arm couldn't be salvaged so I made him a brand new arm.
I kept the feet but gave him brand new legs from mid-calf up.
He did came home with a crack on the bridge of his nose, which I cut and repaired thoroughly. However you can see a super thin whitish line from up close :( It is not a crack and it won't get worse over time but of course I have to mention it.
He now has a brand new cloth body, he is nicely weighted and heavy and of course all new paint :)

Here is the little prince:

He is a big newborn baby at about 21-22"
Drop me an e-mail to tina (at) tinakewy dot com if you are interested.
I accept PayPal :)
Thank you!!

The joint connudrum...

You know I love sculpting babies and newborns... but my *most* favorite thing is creating tiny dolls, the kind you can play with, and have a ton of accessories for and create little rooms for etc.
All my life, since I was teeny, I was drawn to miniature... not doll house scale; 1/6th works great for me.
My Barbie dolls were not the best dressed, but golly, they had wonderful rooms, created on the shelves of my bookcase and of course they had babies and children. My grandma taught me to sew when I was 4 or 5, and my babies had amazing clothes. I remember taking my brothers' old shirts, cutting off the sleeves with which I created pants... and tucking in the bodice of the shirt to make it a small(er) t-shirt, thus creating a matching set!! Same with the teenies :) Only, more fun!!

The desire to make the teenies comes and goes, mostly because the market for them is limited. It doesn't matter that mine have the same amount of amazing detail and coloring as my bigger ones. They usually do not sell well, so because I have bills to pay, I limit the amount of teenies I make and only do them for *my* entertainment (which is why I have a studio full of them, hahaha).

My great love of course is dolls you can play with; Ball Jointed Dolls (BJDs).
I differ from the classic, traditional look of big heads, huge eyes, a speck of a nose and a tiny mouth, no detail on the limbs or hands. My BJDs are a little more stylized than my normal dolls, but still realistic. I have been asked many times, how do you make a BJD, please teach us... and frankly I would rather teach 20 people how to make a normal newborn baby, than teach one person how to make one BJD. In other words, they are HUGE pain in the bum ;)

Firstly, my approach is totally different as mine are made from the very temperamental material of polymer clay. There are a couple of books out there discussing BJDs (adults) in the traditional Asian style, but they were no help to me at all, since they use paper clay and a foam core.
My first BJDs, were actually puppets, the kind with the strings, when I was about 12. I made fairies, princesses, you name it. They were in fact made from paper clay and at the time I thought they were amazing (they were not!!)... ok so *maybe* for the art of a 12 year old they were pretty ok, considering I had no training and I came up with the jointing system all by myself :)
However, the polymer clay ones are so.much.work!!! More work to make a 6" BJD than to sculpt a full size newborn!!

The greatest book I ever read was Martha Armstrong Hand's "Learning to be a Doll Artist". It had some awesome designs on joints and even though she works in a totally different medium and in a totally different technique, I have read the book cover to back over a dozen times and I still come up with ideas. I adore Martha, I would give my right leg to be able to really be her apprentice, she is everything I would love to be... except of course, she is no longer with us :(

There is one point though I realized, Martha and I differ greatly. Like me, she too wanted to play with her dolls (hence the joints), but her joints are not pretty :(
Let me explain that; her dolls look amazing dressed and they pose well. But when naked, the joints are big and the forms on which they are based are slightly distorted (in order for the joint to work).
Mind you, not that my amateur joints are better ;) but I do try to make "invisible" joints.
For every BJD of mine I made and sold, and I do mean this, the joints were made at least twice and discarded.
It's messy, it's long and in the end it might not work ;)
Still I LOVE making them. I have one in the works for 3 years old and I STILL go back and re-do parts. Martha writes in her book, that it's ok for projects to take months or years to come together. I got the feeling that maybe she didn't have an immediate need to live doll by doll, because all of you artists out there know, that when you live doll by doll, you don't have the luxury of a perfected project that took you years ;)

So my BJD toddler, Penny, is taking years. I thought I had her down pat... then just as I was getting ready to ship her to the producer... I decided to re-do her arms and legs!!! Ugh.

And because I wrote a book, here are some cute pics of past BJDs for you :)

 

And here is my problem, my fellow artists and collectors. The joints!!! I KNOW I can make cute faces!! I mean look at them, they are all cute!! But the joints... oh my, the joints. Ok so because at the time there were no books, I had to "think" them up. Then I got my hands on a real BJD and saw the joints. But how do THEY make them work, and I can't? :(
I AM improving. I have no incorporated a totally new way of doing the joints which includes power tools!! Precision power tools ;) and this works good. It's a LOT of work because it means several re-firings of each piece, sanding, smoothing and making both limbs equal. Most companies that produce BJDs do the limbs in such a way that each leg and each arm can either be a left or a right one. But I like bowed baby legs which means I need to sculpt two, identical and symmetrical legs and two identical and symmetrical arms... which is very very hard.
Penny (the girl in the pigtails and the blue gingham dress above) is the first BJD that uses wooden balls as joints which give me the symmetrical joint I was looking for, and it won't matter in the long run as she will get poured into resin. She poses really well and holds the pose...yet still I am redoing her limbs ;) because I made these 2 years ago and I feel I can do better now!! And also I am a perfectionist ;) and a little crazy.

 

So before I go crazy over BJDs, here is a video of a sleeping baby I did two or three years ago.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DreSz1rtnFk



 

No more death...

My sister in law just called... my father in law has suffered something life threatening (I couldn't make out what it was as my mother in law was crying, I think she said thrombosis).
They are bringing him to the hospital from the mountains and time is running out.
Will you please pray for him?? His name is John.

As for me, I called our babysitter, I want the kids out of the house and we might also need to go to the hospital anyway so it seemed prudent to have someone on standby.
I wholeheartedly pray that he gets 100% better..because frankly, I can't stand any more death...tomorrow marks 13 months since my father died... I've had enough grief, my family has had enough grief, my kids have had enough grief losing a grandfather, to lose another one... so please God... don't. Just don't :(
 

The one in which I didn't want to sculpt...

It's been a while since I posted so let me catch you up :)
We had a nice, quiet summer. I felt I had earned it because of what happened last summer. Dad up there really made it up to me :) Thanks Dad!!

There was one teensy bitsy problem though.. all through the summer I felt totally uninspired!!
I just couldn't sculpt... or rather, I would start something but didn't finish it. You will be amazed at the amount of OOAK heads I have in my studio at the moment!!
I didn't realize why until the boys started school last week... I was exhausted!! With no help, 3 full months of just me and the boys, without even an HOUR for some me time, I was reaching my limit.
Not only that but we are the stage where they bicker constantly... and talk back! OMGosh the talking back!!! I have often exclaimed (only half joking!), "I will strangle them!" lol. Which of  course I would never do ;) just saying...

So they have been in full days at school for a week now..and guess what?
I have already finished two OOAKs (one of them being the OOAK Gus who I restored, and Ellis is next). I got my mojo back!! Some sleeping in (yes I do admit, I sent them off to school and then catch an extra hour of sleep in the morning since I usually sculpt until 2-3am each night), some peace and QUIET around the apartment... voila! Instant transformation!! I am sculpting again!
Not only that, I am ready to tackle a couple of big projects that have been on my mind for a while now :)

I have many surprises for you, my dear collectors and reborners saved up for this winter :)
Can wait to show my OOAK of Gus, fully restored. I added a neck and made him new limbs, since they took quite a beating beyond saving during molding for the vinyl. Originally I thought I would save them and worked really hard on them for more than a month... should have just gone with new ones, would have taken me less time, ha!! Eventually I gave up on them and just made new!
The head (his and Ellis') is in pristine condition so he only took some repainting :)
I also did 3 new mini babies... and something I can't talk about yet as it's a surprise :)
I am looking forward to a very creative winter, during which I get my sculpting mojo back, clear out my studio and get ready for new, exciting and big projects!!!

Stay tuned!!! Happy Winter everyone!!
 

A year ago today...

Today is the 15th August. I have talked about it many times here on my blog, but it is the biggest Christian Orthodox holiday (other than Easter) here in Greece. It is the day that Mary, the Mother of Christ, dies... it is also my nameday since I am named after her (Despina) and she is also my patron saint, the one I feel guides and helps me... she is also the one I prayed to (went to the appropriate church built in her name and made a pledge) when I couldn't get pregnant and she gave me my boys...

It is of course a bank holiday here in Greece... a year ago today I had no idea my dad was dying... I can describe to you in every detail the ride in the ambulance as I took my dad to the hospital, where he would spend the last 11 days of his life... It was past 10 as we rode the empty streets of Athens, the inhabitants on holiday or enjoying the day at some beach bar or with someone who was celebrating their nameday...
I can recall the faces of the paramedics, I can recall what my dad wore, I can even recall the number on the ambulance... and I can recall that I had no idea this would be my dad's last ride... I really thought he had a mysterious infection and that he would pull through.

It was a lousy day today... for the rest of the world, it is not a holiday, so I replied to e-mails to keep my mind off things. I worked a little... I am alone, just me and Cody today. John has gone to his grandma's for a few days, George is on duty.
I let Cody do whatever he wanted today... I was not in the mood for mothering :( but it is also Cody's nameday because when I made my pledge to Mary I told her that if she would give me a baby, I would baptize him/her to her name... so Cody is also named Panagiotis (a name we gave given Mary, Panagia - which means All Saint) and John is also named Mario (from Maria - Mary).

I made us oven baked pasta and let him play his Nintendo for hours... Then asked him where he wanted to go. We ended up eating waffles with ice cream.. then he wanted to go bowling.. I was not in the mood... however somewhere in the middle of the game I felt happier and found myself smiling.

Now as he tries to sleep (it is hard without his brother!), I write this, I realize how a year ago today I had no idea my life was going to change so much. I have long stopped walking to my door, lunch or dinner on hand to bring to my dad before remembering he is gone... I have now stopped weaping at the sight of his car parked outside the apartment building (but have yet to muster the courage to unlock it and sit in it in fear it will smell like him still).
But I have never stopped missing him... I can go about my days not thinking about him for the most part, then BANG! I will realize in a start he is gone!! And it feels like an ice cold hand clutching my heart...

I still think he should have told me... I still have regrets... I could have done more, spent more time with him... if I knew these were his last days, I wouldn't have left his side... but there was a house to run, a husband to feed, two kids to take care of and of course work...
I wish I could turn back time... but I can't.

I don't go to the grave much. Graves never meant much to me... I don't think a person's essense is in the ground. I feel my dad around me and I see him in the stars so to speak much more than in a grave. In fact it saddens me to think that under the concrete I lay my flowers on, his body is rotted to nothing... my dad isn't there. My dad is here with me, with the boys and in Heaven watching me... not under 10 feet of soil.
Is it weird? Maybe... I know people worship grave sites but I am not one of them. I do not believe we are corporeal anyway... the soul is freed and roams around in my mind. I can feel his hand in things sometimes and I can hear his voice when I need to and it comforts me.
I know my dad would linger, he wouldn't leave me alone... so I feel him all around me all the time.

The day is winding down now, it is past 11 here... I remember exactly where we were a year ago. I used to anticipate my nameday as a day of celebration but now I dread it.
On the 26th, it will be a year since I last saw him... we will have a grave side blessing as per Greek Orthodox tradition and I will hand out the special things we give out... I will bake the little cakes, and make the Kollyva (wheat with sugar and nuts representing the Resurrection)... I will light candles in his name...and I guess I will cry a lot that day.

So weird... the good and the bad together mixing... I was never a "gray" kind of girl. Always black or white. I don't think I can process the good and the bad all in one go. I prefer more clean cut lines... you are either sad or happy.. .you can't be both. How can you be happy in the face of such tragedy? My dad is gone... why am I smiling? :(

I miss you Daddy... I always will...

On lice and men...

Ever since we got back from our summer vacation, both me and John have had a terrible itchy head...
I had checked the poor kid like twenty times and there was nothing... I had also checked myself twenty times and saw nothing... so I thought it was a) either nerves or b) all that chlorine from the pool water that made my hair hard like wires, dried out my scalp...

Fast forward to today when I decided to check John again... and OMGosh, there was LICE!!! Live, wringling, moving lice!!! Not many, like 5 or 6 of them and not too big but they were there!!!
Then I checked Cody (who was not itchy)... and out came 2-3 more!!!
(I had none but I assume it is because I dye my hair - too many gray hairs not to - and apparently they either die because of it of my hair smells of chemicals lol).

So the boys got a treatment and enjoyed playing in the tub for 15 minutes while it worked it's magic... rinse and repeat next week...

The problem is, I was raised to believe that head lice means you are not a good enough mom. If you child gets head lice it means you are not paying attention or something. I don't know why I had this notion but let's say and agree, my mom is a very weird person and she passed it down to me. She also warned me when I came out of private school to complete High School (public High School - my mom freaking out!) that I shouldn't play with kids of a lower social status than me. (told ya my mom was weird - my best friend in High School was a former preemie with CP!!)

So anyway back to head lice... I got a panic attack! My KIDS HAVE LICE!!! I am a terrible mom!!!
My hairdresser who knows me all my life shrugged and said "ah, so what? Head lice is nothing... everybody gets it!!" she was so... so CASUAL about it!! And here I am freaking out, ready to burns the sheets and their clothes... I am ready to disinfect the dog too!! Do dogs get lice? Because John's dog sleeps with him and they rub hair and fur all the time!! OMGosh!! Does my dog have LICE too??
Here comes my panic attack... I am off to burn the sheets... hopefully I can spare the dog!!!

Baby A...

If you are on Facebook, and are my friend, make sure you stop by my group "Creating Baby A" (or drop me a line to add you). In this group I am sharing with all of you the process of sculpting a very unique baby (and pretty if I might say so myself!)
In fact this is her foot I just finished above :) Cool huh?

Early Bird in resin

It's been a while since I've shown you any new work, with the kits coming in, the other kits in production, the silicones, the book, the kids, summer.... ugh. Overwhelmed doesn't begin to cover it... oh! Did I mention the impromptu apartment rennovation we are having?
The one where I leave on vacation for a week and I come and my cleaning lady decided she wanted to re-do my entire apartment... and I walk in and there are boxes everywhere, and my tools are gone (still missing!!) and it took me 3 hrs (!!) to locate my box of certificates and you still walk in and think we are moving out... ugh!!!!
I could just strangle her... but she's been with us for years and years and I know she meant well... except I am PISSED OFF!!!

Ok...calming breaths, calming breaths... where was I?
Oh yes!! Early Bird.
At least this little guy puts a smile on my face. I am SOOOOO in love with him...and he is a tiny edition of 15 plus 3 APs...and I've already sold 3... and I have one right here I mean to paint these days.

Here is my little realistic preemie cutie.

This little guy would be a fantastic model for a NICU as he is to a "T" a preemie of 31 weeks. I had originally planned to make him a full body plate, but eventually decided against it to keep his price lower. But if you would like one for NICU display, I can match the resin to my clay and make you a clay body plate for him.

Contact me if you might be interested in one. There is no waiting, I have one right here and 4 in the mail to me :)
Until next time
Tina

Kidney woes

I am now convinced there is NO worse pain in the entire world but kidney pain. OH.MY.LORD... giving birth has nothing on this kind of pain.

It seems both G and I caught someting while in the Netherlands...and because I do have kidney problems since birth, it hit straight there :(
And the darn antibiotics sensitivity panel TAKES FOREVER!!!! I have been home since Tuesday morning and I will get the results TODAY :(
Thankfully the rest of the tests were ok so even though IT HURTS LIKE... well you know like what, my kidneys are not affected yet ...

BRING ON THE ANTIBIOTICS!!!!
I apologize if I seem a little MIA but I spent the last 3 days trying to get comfortable anywhere...with no luck :( it hurts, plain and simple... yuck!

Vinyls facts :)

Hello everyone!
My Gus and Ellis kits have been delivered...well, HALF of  them but it's ok because by the time I have shipped these, the other half will have arrived lol :)
I can't open the door to my apartment... will be VERY happy to see the boxes empty and the kits shipped off to their mommies :)

I just wanted to take a minute and talk vinyl with you... Someone told me that someone has been going around saying the vinyl for Gus and Ellis is rock hard...
This is NOT true... Please check my Facebook page where I have uploaded videos of me "squeeshing" the parts. The vinyl is no different than my other kits!!

I also wanted to take a moment and say that I know you girls like the "soft" vinyl... like, SUPER soft... but let me explain why I will never go for the super soft kind... Vinyl softeness depends on how much vinyl you use, how thick it is... A softer vinyl will be lighter, so probably, also cheaper as it goes by weight.
Also it will be more transparent (please trust me on this, my first sample for Jack was very soft, couldn't keep it's shape and when I stuffed it, I could see the white stuffing inside!!!). And it will get too soft in the oven... touch it the wrong way and you've messed up the shape. I know, I've left a nice dent into it!!! With my finger!! Couldn't get it off...
And... there is a greater chance it will melt in the oven too...

I have tried very hard to come to a balance between the vinyl thickness being a quality thing and it still be soft. It costs me WAY more, yes...but all I want to do is give you a good quality product.
The vinyl I use is NOT rock hard... it is not sponge soft either. It is a nice soft vinyl, that will keep it's shape, take the paint well, is non toxic and phalate free...and made in Germany :) in the best factory!!

Please if you have any questions, don't hesitate to mail me. I will be happy to help!!
Also don't forget to show me pics of your reborn Gus and Ellis!!
hugs
Tina

What is it that you REALLY want?

Is there a material thing that is missing from your life? That, because you do not have it, your life is harder/more complicated? Is there something that if you had it, you would be so much happier (because your life would be easier/less complicated)?

For me this "material thing" is a house... a proper one.. I would settle for a bigger apartment even.
We live in a tiny two bedroom one. I guess when we bought it ten years ago, it seemed huge...and it DOES fit a childless couple REALLY well... but with two kids... NO WAY.

We are crammed to the bursting point. The apartment has no storage area... it only has two small (and I do mean SMALL) closets. My boys have been in a bunk since they were 3 because we couldn't fit two beds in their room. This year when we bought them two tiny IKEA plastic tables to use as desks, they were left with a tiny square of space in the middle of the room to play with. Not really enough room to even lay out their toys :(

My bathroom barely fits one person standing in it. When I sit on the...emh... toilet, my thigh touches the washing machine (in Greece each house has one, there are no laundry mats and shared washers in buildings).

Often hubby will say "put that away" and I will answer "WHERE?" there is no SPACE... and I de-clutter regularly..at least x4 a year.
We have no place to store a christmas tree. I haven't saved ANY of the boys' old toys or clothes or baby items save for a handful because I have nowhere to put them.

And in case one wants to be alone? Ha! We have two couches worth of space in our living room to sit in. That's it.
I would love to say my tiny apartment is filled with love... well it IS.. but it is also NOT suited for us. It makes me miserable. :( We can't breathe in here :( and I don't know what we will do if we ever have a 3rd child or when the boys get bigger! (yikes!!!).

The problem is hubby is super resistant to change. Pick up and go is not an option for him. He does NOT WANT TO MOVE... but then again he spends VERY little time in the apartment as he works two jobs and is gone most of the day.

I see all those beautiful houses in the US and UK and Australia via my friends' blogs and my heart sings for a bigger place... a small backyard... I wish.. I wish...

So what is the one material thing that would make your life better/easier/happier???

Discover Dolls International Doll Show

Here is my list of babies for sale at the Discover Dolls International Doll Show next week, June 9th and 10th @ Peterborough, UK

2 Resin Early Birds (new sculpt, amazing preemie) @ 550 GBP each (regular price 750 GBP)
6 Resin Natalies (5" baby) special edition @ 90 GBP each (regular price 280 GBP)
1 Life size newborn OOAK boy @ 900 GBP (regular price 1170 GBP)
My prototype of JACK (sold out edition) @ 450 GBP
My prototype of ELLIS (sold out edition) @ 550 GBP

I will be able to take CREDIT CARDS via PayPal as I will have my netbook with me and an internet connection. Just log in to your PayPal to pay on the spot :)
All babies will come with loads of goodies, COAs and in a beautiful presentation box.
I apologize but I can't do layaway at this time as I have nowhere to leave the babies and can't carry them back with me on the plane (I shipped them there directly!).

See you there!!! :)

Hugs
Tina

Going insane

I don't know what is wrong with me today... I think I am going insane!
I feel like a turtle turned on it's back... I woke up this morning, exhausted... I got the boys out the door like 5 minutes late... I had an appointment to get my hair cut because I can't see, they are in my eyes... I forgot what time was the apointment... then I tried to call the salon only to discover I had lost their phone number!!

I *thought* my appt was for 10 o'clock. I showed up at 9.55 only to find out I was 25 mins late!!!! My apointment was for 9.30!!! I got my hair cut anyway, then came home to make Kollyva (it's a traditional mixture of wheat, nuts, raisins, sugar and spices made whenever you want to "remember" your dead. And since I didn't make it on Saturday for dad, I wanted to make it today - it sounds odd but it is VERY tasty and full of nutrients).

Anyway, I burned the wheat!!! At the same time I had put Ellis' limbs in the oven to set the paint and I forgot to set the timer. Thankfully they didn't melt but I have no idea how long I baked them for (they are ok!)

Then I tried to work out John's dental appointment (under general anesthesia) only to be told that it will be next week or... whenever!! yikes! I will be gone next week!! But it's kind urgent now so George will have to fill in...
Then I was asked if I had all his tests done...and realized I had misplaced the paper detailing the blood tests I need to have them run (privately of course because our health system sucks). I turned the apartment upside down and created a huge mess for an hour until I found them...

Then I tried to work on Ellis a little more to decide I hate the way the foot looks...so I took all the color off..and now I've ruined it!!!! :(
I need to start over...
I couldn't conentrate on work, so I thought I would cook... yeah you guessed it... a big mess (but I didn't burn it at least).

I HAVE NO BRAIN TODAY!!! What is WRONG with me???
I have so much to do, so little time to do it in, I think this is one of those days that I need to drop everything, take the boys to the park and come back to it later tonight. I destroy everything I touch. I have been writing this post for 2 hours now... I started writing it, then got up, then forgot about it and here I am two hours finishing it!

I think I will go to bed... before the next thing I touch blows up!! Then try again in an hour, after I've had a nap!

The question of time....

Ok so you know how we always say "Time flies"?? and how we never seem to have enough hours in a day to get things done?
Recently I discovered that I am plagued by this which I knew... however I was mortified to discover I am also plagued by this other thing... energy or rather, the lack of it. It's no big secret that after the Pneumonia (it deserves a capital P, trust me), it took me almost two whole months to feel like myself. Long after the coughing and the shortness of breath and the fever had subsided, I was still getting dizzy walking 10 feet and I was in bed by 9, shortly after the boys... people, we are talking I am a night owl... I don't feel sleepy until after the clock has turned into an am digit...
Slooooooowly and I do mean sloooooowly I regained my stamina (although I still get dizzy walking from time to time especially if I've had no breakfast lol)

Which brings us to yesterday... crazy day... but then lately all days have been crazy. It's getting close to the show and the delivery of my Gus and Ellis kits so naturally I have a lot on my plate and on my mind. The more involved I am with work, the naughtier the boys are... close the door to the room so I can do my auction in peace, and it's an invitation for them to try and break it down..

I had been planning to put up Gus for auction for DAYS now... did you see the auction go live DAYS ago? Nope... because I only managed to get it up YESTERDAY!!!
Hubby was told to help... he said ok... except his idea of helping and my idea of helping are totally different things:

My idea: Get the kids off my back, keep them fed, happy, take them to the park for crying out loud. Sit down and play with them, watch a movie with them...etc

His idea: Yell at them to leave mom alone (while sitting on his PC playing Farmville) and send them to their room. :(

This weekend has been teeth grinding... firstly, it was my dad's 9 month anniversary on Saturday. We were supposed to go to the cemetery and leave flowers, have a priest say a blessing... Hubby decided he would be doing private lessons to some guy... right in the middle of last few days before the show of course because his timing has always been fantastic <--insert sarcasm here.
Of course he did not come to the cemetery to honor my dad (priorities all screwed up much???)

My mom demanded I go pick them up. I explained that we cannot fit in my car... she said "take the car seats out, we will hold the boys in our laps" ... <-- insert Tina's horror face here.
But mom is like that... instead of thinking how she can help someone, she always thinks how people can serve her. Not only that but the cemetery is a 5 minute bus ride from their place or a 5 minute cab ride. But of course busses and taxis are not for them, right? Whereas me, who lives on the other side of town, have the time/obligation to swing by and pick them up (they are not on the way to the cemetery from where I live).
Needless to say, they did not show up at the cemetery either but I did get an earful because I didn't play chauffer...

I was feeling all crappy as we walked back to the car in the heat... the boys were moody, Cody kept saying he is missing his grandpa and "if he could only hear his voice one more time he would be happy"... I was grinding my teeth SO hard trying not cry in front of them... then as we nearing the car, John found a sticker on the pavement... it is one of those Euroleague trading card/stickers Cody collects!!
Then just a few steps from the car, on the lawn, sat a Beyblade thingie looking brand new. It wasn't there before...
It was Cody's nameday last Monday.. now you try and tell me this wasn't my dad's hand giving Cody two of his favorite things for his nameday!!!

After that I took the boys out for ice cream... we got home at 3pm at which time I still hadn't cooked. So I did that, had a few words with George because I was steaming mad at him (do you blame me?)
I wanted to get some work done but by the time I had cooked and eaten and cleaned, I was exhausted... <-- insert the energy issue thingie here
Of course I still had to do the shopping so I "popped" to ther super market at 7pm. There goes my day. I did maybe a few photos for Gus' auction and a little bit of work otherwise. During all this time George played on his PC and then took a nap!!!

Then on Sunday I wanted to get the auction up. Finished doing the photos and did the template. The kids would not leave me alone. They were in the room every 6 minutes wanting something or other, usually begging to get my cell phone so they could play games... George was supposed to watch them so I could work... yeah... allowing them to interrupt someone every 5 minutes is not watching them, George.

I finally managed to get the auction up and running and by the time I had cooked, walked the dog (x3), tidied up and did a tiny bit of work, I was exhausted again. I was in bed my 10pm last night. I just could.not.keep.my.eyes.open!!!

So I have shockingly discovered that it is not only an issue of "time flies".. but of energy as well. I could have worked a good 2-3 hours after 10pm last night, except I was literally falling asleep (I fell asleep on the couch while holding my coffee which was supposed to wake me up!)

Now the boys are at school and I can FINALLY get some work done. Ugh... except I am still tired!!!! grrrrrrrr

Welcome to the world...

Welcome to the world Baby Gus... we've waited so long for you, but you were SO worth it!!!

On being a mom...

If you've been reading for my blog for a while you surely know by now that being a mom was all I ever wanted to be... sure I wanted to go to College and get a job but what I have always wanted to do was be a mom...

Being a mom is not an easy job. You have your days when the stars align and your kids are amazingly behaved and cute and funny and all you can think of is "I want to eat you up!!". At least I do :)
And there are days that your kids seem to flip a switch and suddenly they are slowly and methodically grinding your patience down to non-existent ... I yell at them then. I admit, I am a yeller!! And a "you are on time-out buddy" ... and I take away priviledges :)

For the past few days, it's been like this I'm afraid... tantrum after tantrum, a huuuuge struggle to just get them into clothes and get them out the door... everything is a struggle and not because you want them to do something they hate doing ... for instace I wanted to take the kids out for a fun day shopping, eating out and playing in a cool playground they love... By the time we got there, I wanted to strangle them for all their whining... lol :)

Yesterday for the first year ever, hubby FINALLY got it and made the boys write me sweet messages and let me sleep in until 9am (!!!) :)
Then I drove them 50 minutes so they could ride horses (John decided against it) and play with friends :)
We had a blast and I was in bed by 11... I am so tired I fell asleep on the couch (NEVER happens) :)

I love my boys...I love being a mom... even on the hard days ;)

For dad...

This one's for you dad...

"Gus" production sample in vinyl, reborn by Tina Kewy.
In memory of my daddy, C. "Gus" Koutsouropoulos 5th March 1950 - 26th August 2011

Surprise!!!

Ellis' head got a bit squished in that box :) So pics of her tomorrow, after she is.... ehm... reformed :)