32 today...

I guess it is no secret that I struggled with infertility for a few years before I had my boys. What is probably less widely known is, I lost a baby at 11 wks prior to having the boys and I lost their triplet while pregnant with them.
The doctor is 99% sure the lost triplet was Cody identical twin, a boy... and Cody often talks about his "sister" who is in my belly and day will be born. He talks about her with great detail and it makes my skin crawl at times because, what if, he remembers his twin and what if the doctor was wrong and it was in fact, a little girl?

Being a very busy mom of twins, one with special needs even, some times it's hard to even catch your breath and admittedly, my hands and my heart so full, I never really thought about my lost Angels... until I started getting broody again, longing for another child... it happened some time last Spring but I tucked away the desire, because surely, right now it is all but impossible to have another baby in all levels of my life... so rather reluctantly, I indulged my son, and started sculpting his "sister" using the same picture of him as a newborn I love *so* much, the same one I used to make Mommy Loves You actually...
Obligations from customers made this sculpt come very slowly... from start to finish, it was 36 weeks (!!) but not planned... I just realized it today... The boys were born at 36 weeks and late, late last night, she was born... on the 4th January 2010.. sharing the birthday with me, her mommy...

I turned 32 today and she was just born... born of my heart, my vision and my hands so technically, of my body (the hands are a part of my body lol)... Cody is thrilled. He holds her oh so tenderly and beams of brotherly pride. I'm sure he knows she is just a doll but he doesn't care... John is thinking up names and they are debating endlessly while she "sleeps" on the couch and I don't say anything, I don't try to correct them when they say "baby" instead of "doll" because they just turned 4, and when you are four, you are allowed to think of objects as real. They will be "old and wise" in no time...so for now I allow them this and I even allow it to myself... she looks so much like Cody when he was born... she could have been my daughter... instead she is a tribute to my daughter... the angel who is watching over us all.

Poets write poetry, song writers write songs and painters paint, in memory, in tribute... I sculpt. That's all I know how to do... and I will tease you and not show you the whole baby...but I will tell you one thing... she is adorable...