An update :)

Hi people,
I apologize if I have been lost this past month but the truth is I feel Like I am going through the worst phase of my (personal) life.

Here is a list of what happened to me in September:

1) The school started a committee to get John and Cody away from their school because of their special needs. They don't seem to care where they end as long as they are not in that school (public school and before you ask yes it is illegal and yes we are fighting tooth and nail).

2) John went through the system once more and was formally diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism) as well as his other neurological (CP) and other issues. We now have a VERY formal paper saying our son is special needs... we've had a paper anyway so he could receive services but this is the mother of papers if you'd like.

3) I was in a car accident! Not my fault, a "racer" driver crashed into me... the damage to my (one year old) car was 1100 Euros!! We will eventually get that money back ... eventually is the key word. While in shop, they fried my car battery!! I spent another100 Euros out of pocket to get a new one...

4) My phone's touch pad broke following a short fall... 100 euros to fix it and since I don't have it, I haven't fixed it yet!

5) A doll got lost in the mail... he is held at US customs in NY. It is the second time this happens in 13 years I have been shipping. The first time the doll was delivered after a month btw.
Thankfully the collector (who has been sent all paperwork and has been following/tracking online too) has been wonderful!! :) (Thanks P!!)

6) I need to take care of my dad which I like to do but things are SO difficult, my psychology is hitting rock bottom, I can't even find the courage to get out of bed in the morning. I am terrifier of what I will face during the day.

BTW we filled charges against the teachers.They were calling my boys "babies" in front of everyone.. MY SPECIAL NEEDS KIDS WERE BEING TAUNTED BY THEIR TEACHERS!!! Can you even BELIEVE it?
We are in a race with the government to find help for the boys, secure a special ed teacher and another school (super hard, the laws are idiotic at best).

Through this all we ended up with ZERO money. We drained our (poor) accounts with the car repair, John's 8 doctor's appointments this week, utilities, gas to all those appointments etc.
I desperately need to finish and sell a life size OOAK but honestly, I can't :( I feel so horrible inside... I have been trying, I did get some headway (even by sheer force of will!!) but I need to FINISH something to get us back on our feet a little $$.

Inspite all that, things are work are not bad. All three of the OOAKs I entered at the Colliii are nominated for an award. I would LOVE to win.. I have lost faith in everything, even in my ability to sculpt. :(
Seriouly folks, I have never felt so low... mostly because I thought we caught whatever was wrong with John so early, he would be "like everyone else" when he went to school... yet here we are and though he has come a LOOOONG way, is he like everyone else? No.... he sticks out like a sore thumb... and not only that, nobody is willing to help him in the stupid public system we are in. It is a rotten system :(

I so need a pick me up... I need to get back on my feet. I am a very cheery person.. I am bubbly.. I don't let things drag me down too much or for too long.. this time however... I think it's done me in... it's been a whole month and I am still in a deep dark hole..and not even the sweet smiles of my boys can get me out ... and I worry :(