I've never thought not to love you...

(a day late but I was in too much pain to blog yesterday)

My dearest, sweetest little boys...

Happy Valentine's day!! I never liked Valentine's day, at least not after I turned about 15 or so lol, but when I had you, I realized I was so in love with you, that I did celebrate Valenntine's after all... but with you two.

I hope you read this one day and understand...
When I first got pregnant with you, I tried really hard not to love you. This was after years of infertility and my innocence and belief in the "you get a positive pregnancy test and nine blessed months later you are holding a healthy, pink, chubby baby" story was long gone.
So I tried not to love you at first. I didn't want to get hurt again in case I lost you.

But it was impossible... I loved you more than life itself after that first sonogram when you were just the size of a bean. My beans!
And six years later, I love you more each day. You are my entire world. Everything I do, I do it for you. nothing else has meaning... I might scold or yell at you at times but I know you will never look into my eyes and wonder if you are wanted and loved.

Happy Valentine's day my sweets. I can't imagine my life without you :)
Love,
Mommy