This and that

Hello world,

Long time no see :)

Truth is I've been both busy and too tired to blog much, but here's some new for you.

The boys are doing well with the exception of John who caught (another) virus is is sick... it's just the "usual", high fever, vomitting and the likes but as usual it came in a very bad moment because my best friend (no, make that my non-blood sister!) is christening her little boy and I am organizing the whole thing...NEXT WEEK. Gulp!

I've been wanting to sculpt something but I've got no clay!
I have been spoiled by a local store which brings my clay in for the past year or so but when I called to order some, they were all out! And they won't have more until the end of July!!!
So I had to order a few bars to get me by from the Netherlands... so hopefully I will sculpt someting in the new few days... maybe... if I find time. They take me forever to finish anyway these days. I might do a head in a week and then take me another two weeks for the limbs (and that's FAST these days lol). Gone are the days I could finish an OOAK in 3 days.

Another thing I am looking forward to is the elimination of my waiting list :) Yay!! Only 4 people to go people!!
No more waiting lists after that :)
Or pre-orders... or anything.
From now on, I will sell what is ready to ship only, so that should be an awesome change to customer service right? You pay one day you receive a few days later? Cool huh?

And to butter you over a little bit... here is an OOAK I finished recently.. and then Cody sat on her leg!! Ugh!!!

Oh! And also my friend had a baby and I headed over there a couple of weeks ago and sculpted... live! The actual baby!!! And it was so good to be reminded of scale and some detail (things you can't see in pictures) so this is my best newborn in a long time... wrinkly all over and chicken legged... One of these days, as soon as I find some time I will show you :)

Until then... peace lol :)

Exhausting but...

I had such a rewarding experience at the swim comps today!!

I took over 1000 pictures... my camera battery is drained, my back hurts, my arms are shaking (you try holding a camera with a 3lbs lens for an hour without support, ha!) but man I got some awesome pics!!!

A sneak peek... I am too exhausted for more... (click to enlarge)

The long awaited day...

I have always known I would be a "soccer" mom... what I didn't know was how important and filled with joy, bursting with pride, those "soccer" games would become...
True, my boys are not into soccer but they are completing their second year in the swim team!!
Today is the end of the year celebration complete with medals and certificates of excellence!!
Guess who is the photographer hired to cover this event? ME!!!!

I am bursting at the seams and have invited everyone I know to come... Last year my boys were SOOOO happy, beaming with joy... and this year... this year will be awesome!

"Ladies and gentlemen and now, a child who was not supposed to be born alive... who was not supposed to walk... who was thought had Angelman's Syndrome... presenting John Mario who not only walks, talks and is very intelligent but also SWIMS!!!" Yaaaaaay!!
(wild clapping and a few tears from mommy!)
"And his amazing twin, who is natural in swimming and will be drafted into the junior water polo team next year, Cody!!!!" Yaaaaaay!!

I am SOOOOO blessed... I am humbled... how can so much love fit into my heart? Suerely it will burst and the love will spill and fill the universe... I have no words.
Just wait for the pictures!!
Love,
Tina

No power!

Ok let's see if this works. I am trying to put an update through my phone's browser. It's been a couple of hrs since we got home and we are still without electrical power. If you have mailed, don't freak out if I can't reply, as soon as the power is back I will :)
I am not ignoring you lol.
BTW it's very common in my area during the summer because of the drain of all the air conditioners... still I hate it!

Moral Support

When you have a twin brother, you are soul mates. The Twin Condition is something I cannot understand... I cannot fathom how it is to never be alone from the start, to always from the very moment of conception, to be part of a team... magical!

John has amblyopia (lazy eye). We have known since last August but despite our best efforts, John won't wear his patch, we tried and tried, his therapists tried too but no go.

It's been a few days since we visited our eye doctor and got his glasses prescription changed...and she stressed once again how close we are to losing his eyesight because of the amblyopia... There is no surgery to fix this... it's a perfectly healthy, intact eye, that just can't see...

So we turned to patching again full force. John hates it :( But the Bakugan at the end of each day is a big motivator for him (thankfully we get the cheap Chinese type that costs $2 or so because I can't afford the 7 Euros the original costs lol).

This morning John was a little resistant to patching which is natural because he simply cannot see through his bad eye... but Cody came to the rescue.

Talk about moral support! Cody cried and cried until he got his eye patched too... for the sake of his brother... not only that but he clowned around with him too so John would forget the itching...

These two really make you want your very own twin, don't they??

(Almost) Back to your regular programme...

Hello Dolly World,

I've heard you went looking for me, asking if I was ok and all :)
Well let me see... I am still (mostly) alive... a little dead but mostly alive :)
I've had a very difficult month as you might have noticed from my lack of posting and the lack of new babies lol :)
Let me see...

First my dad got really sick, really quick... in the morning he was fine, we were rushing him to the ER a few hours later with a sky high fever and hematuria.
Turns out he had two nasty infections in the bladder (where the cancer is located) and the prostate... He was in the hospital for a week receiving IV antibiotics. Because of the severity of this, they have stopped his chemo for now. Slowly, he is feeling better, unfortunately not because the cancer situation is better, but because the chemo side effects are lessening. We will see what the next step is as soon as he feels a bit better.

That said, my dad also had to move this month. He rented the apartment one floor down from us but since he got sick in between the move, the weight fell on me and my brother... So I had my dad in the hospital, doing his move, helping my brother move (he is moving in with dad to keep an eye on him when I can't), me moving to a real studio, cleaning out and re-doing the boys room (don't ask but it was urgent this happened now) and of course my regular day to day schedule.

I won't lie, May REALLY got away from me. I didn't put in the kind of work I ought to have put in, I admit that. It's weird though because May was also very demanding otherwise so I feel exhausted nevertheless.
So I *did* work like mad just not on dolls...
The good news is that last week I shipped out half the dolls that I owed leaving only 4 people waiting on me which is good right?
I will get those dolls out this week and then... I will go have an ice cream.. or ten ;)

Seriously though, if you are waiting on me, I apologize, I had a really hard time this past month. I felt pulled in ten different directions and work kind of slipped.. I didn't mean for it to happen but it did. Each day I promised myself I would finish X doll in the evening and each night by 9pm I was dragging and my eyes were closing... and each morning at 6.50am my alarm would go off and I couldn't find the strength to get out of bed (which is why the boys were late for school half this past month - thank God they are in pre-K!!).

I also have some John news (tests results and such) but I am too exhausted to write lol :)
If you have mailed me and haven't heard back, please write to me again. I didn't mean to ignore you but I can't even remember which e-mails I've replied to lol :)
Sorry if I have worried you but thank you once again for your kind patience and continued understanding.
Dolly hugs,
Tina

We're back

Hi world!
Sorry the blog was down for a while, hubby was trying a few new things with it.

An update on us, we are still in one piece :) I am *exhausted* from helping my dad move one floor below, me moving to a real studio and then of course re-doing the apartment because I emptied out my stuff for the move. Also I seem to be having loads of e-mails especially to AOL (but not only) not reach their recepients or coming back undelivered. So if you have mailed me but haven't heard back, please check with me again.

I know these last 3 weeks since I started moving things, I was a little out of touch, but I was literally coming home and falling asleep on my feet, my physical exhaustion is HUGE at the moment. However I did put in work between everything else and I assure you this coming week absolutely everything will be going out, if it hasn't already (as I did ship a few dolls this week as well).

Thank you so much for your kind understanding and patience and I apologize if I made you weary :)
Dolly hugs
Tina

Updates

Hi all,
Ok so let's see, it's been a few days since I've posted.
My dad is doing ok, not great but ok, and has been released from the hospital this morning. They are discontinuing the chemo until further notice.

John got sick on Saturday and was running a fever all through... he is still a little warm today but a dose of Tylenol and he is all better.
Cody on the other hand is very sick. He has a really high temperature and has been throwing up yellow/green stuff every ten minutes since he woke up this morning.
He is like his dad in sickness so he has been in bed all day which means he is feeling REALLY bad.
The best news (not really)!? George is on duty today... thankfully I finished their room yesterday, I now have "just" the rest of the house to do...
I am *exhausted*, I honestly don't know how I put one foot in front of the other... add the fact George is in a FOUL mood and I can't even talk to him (of course no way he would deal with sick kids, room clean outs or anything else right now)...

I am really behind with my e-mails, so bear with me for a couple more days while I sort those through.
I will post pictures of cute babes when I can... not that I've managed to do a lot of work since Friday mind you.

It's just so weird we were more or less ok through the winter (except the swine flu and that horrible hand/foot/mouth Cody got TWICE), with mild fevers and only mild snotty noses and some coughs...and that horrible case of the stomach flu.. and it's now Spring (and it's really hot!) and we go places like the park and generally outside and the boys get THIS sick. I'm telling you Cody is pathetic at the moment, he is sheet white, black circles under his eyes, white lips... oh and did I mention his fingernails are peeling off at the cuticle? Yeah he is missing chunks of nails from that stupid Hand/Foot/Mouth...at least it doesn't seem to hurt him.

I've got to go, thank you all for your kind kind patience... pray for a swift recovery for my little guy and extra energy and strength for me please, I need it!

Dad's in the hospital, I will be MIA

Don't be alarmed if you don't hear from me at all for the next 2-3 days, my dad just got admitted to the hospital. I packed a bag for him and off I go. The boys are staying with my MIL.
Say a prayer for him!
Thanks
Tina

Why moms of special needs kids ROCK!

(from this blog:http://lovethatmax.blogspot.com/2010/05/top-20-reasons-moms-of-kids-with.html)

Like my friend said "Yeah! What she said"

Top 20 Reasons Moms of Kids With Special Needs ROCK

1. Because we never thought that “doing it all” would mean doing this much. But we do it all, and then some.
2. Because we’ve discovered patience we never knew we had.
3. Because we are willing to do something 10 times, 100 times, 1,000 times if that’s what it takes for our kids to learn something new.
4. Because we have heard doctors tell us the worst, and we've refused to believe them. TAKE THAT, nay-saying doctors of the world.
5. Because we have bad days and breakdowns and bawl-fests, and then we pick ourselves up and keep right on going.
6. Because we gracefully handle the stares, the comments, the rude remarks. Well, mostly gracefully.
7. Because we manage to get ourselves together and get out the door looking pretty damn good. Heck, we even make sweatpants look good.
8. Because we are strong. Man, are we strong. Who knew we could be this strong?
9. Because we aren’t just moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work. We are moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work, physical therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists, teachers, researchers, nurses, coaches, and cheerleaders. Whew.
10. Because we work overtime every single day.
11. Because we also worry overtime, but we work it through. Or we eat chocolate or Pirate's Booty or gourmet cheese, which aren't reimbursable by insurance as mental-health necessities but should be.
12. Because we are more selfless than other moms. Our kids need us more.
13. Because we give our kids with special needs endless love, and then we still have so much love left for our other kids, our husbands, our family. And our hairstylist, of course.
14. Because we inspire one another in this crazy blogosphere every single day.
15. Because we understand our kids better than anyone else—even if they can’t talk, even if they can’t gesture, even if they can't look us in the eye. We know. We just know.
16. Because we never stop pushing for our kids.
17. Because we never stop hoping for them, either.
18. Because just when it seems like things are going OK, they're suddenly not OK, but we deal. Somehow, we always deal, even when it seems like our heads or hearts might explode.
19. Because when we look at our kids we just see great kids. Not "kids with cerebral palsy/autism/Down syndrome/developmental delays/whatever label."
20. Because, well, you tell me.

Plan B

It would have gone like this:
I would get married to the love of my life, who I met over the internet when I was 15. We would have a baby and it would be so perfect... I would take the baby on long walks and teach him a bunch of things. There would be peaceful days were we would sit, him (or her) curled up on my chest and we would read...and when he was older, he would clutch my hand as we walked through the zoo, me pregnant for the second time, him or her, expecting to be a big brother or sister and then I would do it all over again...

In reality it went like this: I married the love of my life but couldn't have kids. The ensuing two years of infertility treatment turned his beautiful slim wife into a whale physically and a maniacal person mentally. He didn't dare bring up children or pregnancies up in front of her because she would break into a million pieces right in front of him. Not only that but when finally, finally she became pregnant, it was the hardest pregnancy ever...
They lost a baby and came this close to losing a second.
Instead of one, they were blessed with twins, which was great except all their savings and all their plans and everything else got thrown out the window.
All that turned my husband, who has a huge problem in dealing with his stress and anxiety in a grown-up civilized and logical manner, into a monster of abusive words and controlling, irrational behavior who instead of helping out, stepped out and left me all along to fend for the kids we so much wanted ...

Then it was time for plan B.. instead of my quiet walks and book reading, I got a child that can't control his impulses and can't make his body stop moving or his brain stop racing in 200 different directions at once... it's called ADHD and that's what Cody has.

I also got a child who motor cortex is fried, whose eyes are failing him, his ears too and he can't tolerate a multitude of things in his daily life, like noise, crowds, grass, sand, textures, colors, sounds, bubble bath foam, short sleeved t-shirts, shorts, sandals, his glasses, the patch that will save his eye, even me some times.
Of course there is no talk of another baby seeing I had such a difficult and damaging pregnancy (but oh how I want one secretly!).

I know some people will probably feel sorry for me that "normal" isn't what I got but don't be... I see it as an honor that God chose me to care for these two little souls, that He saw I was fit and then provided me with needed to meet their needs.
On one hand some times I am sad that those long walks never happened... or that quiet reading is out of the question.. or that crafts can't happen... but I get to celebrate some things only a "special" mom can... like your child hugging you for the first time at age 3 and saying I love you for the first time at 3 1/2.
Running at age 4... reaching 32 lbs after a year of trying.

My perspective has changed... I take nothing for granted... In fact I feel so blessed some times I am waiting for the other shoe to drop because I see my kids so perfect.. I don't care about the world and what they think...
I know I am behind at work, I know people say mean things about me but I am also grateful for those who do prefer me and believe in me and patiently wait... I am grateful for my gift that allows me to work from home and meet their needs...
I thank God each day for my collectors and dealers and pray they are all kept well and happy.

I don't take anything for granted... and I am humbled by how much my kids have taught me and I am ashamed I have taught them so much less... I feel like I took so much more than I gave them so far... so beautiful, so brave, so perfect and so ... MINE!!!

Update on the Discover Dolls Show!!

Hi everybody!

Well it is now certain I will not be able to go to the Peterborough show in June.
My husband just incurred a HUGE pay-cut, you must have heard of the dreadful financial situation Greece is in right now, and it has come to the point, I can't afford to go :(
I just can't make enough dolls to sell to pick up the slack and to cover this month's bills and have enough to sell at the show to make it a trip with some profit instead of me paying out of pocket... and I only have two students for the scultping class :( (the money just to rent the room for the day is more than what the students were asked to pay for the course).

I am gutted to say the least I can't come, I was so looking forward to this but we put everything down on paper and the money just isn't there and the students just didn't sign up :( Had I more students, it might have been a done deal but things didn't turn out like that :(

I apologize for the inconvenience.. as I said I am gutted too and of course I will make it up to the two girls and the dolls that I have already made will be sold, so if you were looking to buy a Kewy at show price, do not worry, you will get your chance. More on that later though.

Sigh... I am so upset :( I will miss you all so much!!
Please take loads of photos for me...
Hugs
Tina

If the world is falling down around your ears...

... and it certainly feels like that after the government announced even harder financial rules... George's salary is now down to just 800 Euros a month... and 480 of that is what we pay for the loan we took to buy the apartment (which is not that bad as rent would be more and we wouldn't own the apartment).

I really feel the world is coming down around my ears... it doesn't look like we will afford private kindergarten for the boys right now :( Which is really hard because the public kindergarten gets off at 12.30... which means I can't work during the day which will create another set of problems of its own... and John is doing SO well in his new school. He has made such progress, how can I take him away from it?
I don't know what to do... God please give me clarity and guide my steps so that I do what is right and best for my kids and my family because right now, I just don't know... and I am scared and worried and I can't sleep at night and I can't find joy in anything... I find it hard to even lift my head at the moment and everything is coming crashing down on me... I feel so... alone.

But then, I see this: (click to enlarge)

... and somehow, when they are around I am less scared and less worried and happier and certainly not alone.

Merlin Luckycharm

I had wanted a pet for the boys forever but it is impossible in our current situation to get a dog and George did not want another cat or a gebril or anything for that matter...

Last Thursday we were visiting my friend and as we were getting out the car, we were "greeted" by two huge stray dogs. My pet lover Cody wanted to pet them but they were acting a little strange... I then noticed, the white dog had something in his mouth which the brown dog was trying very hard to extract (they even grabbed an end each and pulled!!!). I was shocked to see a tiny red kitten between the jaws of the dog!!!
Somehow I managed to extract the kitten who was very slobbered but seemed ok...
A visit to the vet confirmed he was miraculously unharmed!!!
George originally freaked out but warmed to the idea and that's how Merlin Luckycharm came to live with us.

He is a Classic Red Tabby with the @ sign on his flanks and his eyes are turning green.
Today he is 7 weeks old and has adjusted wonderfully in our house. He loves the boys and tolerates handling nicely... Even our grumpy Beau has warmed up to him and they are becoming friends slowly but steadily...yesterday they were chasing each other around the house and last night Beau got worried and cried for Merlin when the latter crawled under the couch!!

He is a little spitfire, a ball of energy and fur (and claws and tiny baby teeth). He's really got guts! In the first few days he would hiss at us but with gentle handling he is now a cuddlebug!! He follows us everywhere and cries for our attention (and eats like a horse!).
I am so happy because the boys have really taken to him and I can now teach them responsibility and respect for animals in a real, hands on way.
I am looking forward to seeing the little fuzzball growing up with the boys...
Here is little Merlin on the day we brought him home (his eyes are already changing color, today they seem blue-green)

John & Cody Monthly

(I am a few days behind my posts but I've had a super busy week with lots of unexpected things happen so forgive this late posting :))

John and Cody are now 4 years and 5 months old... What are they up to these days?

Cody is on the 99.4% for height for his age and on the 99.8% for weight. His combined average for height and weight is 97.2%
He grew an inch since last month and the 6 year old pants and shirts no longer fit him... by far!! 7 years are on the cusp but ok for now.
He is a size 13-14 youth shoe wise... Yup, I've got a BIG boy here :)

Cody is extremely active and he LOVES his swim class so much. He swims 3 hours a week and he is getting so good at it!! :)
He is loving school and he is learning like a sponge, sucking it all in. He has started speaking English :)

John is on the 87.7% for height but only on the 36% for weight. Combined he is at 3% on the normal (not preemie or CP) growth charts.
This month he weighed in at 32 pounds which the heaviest he has ever been! Go John!!
Otherwise we've had some rough days with him... I think we've gotten to the point that CP isn't his major issue anymore and neurological and behavioral problems are now taking the cake.
He's been very difficult to handle and he has often meltdowns and screaming. He also becomes violent towards us. I can't reason with him and discipline is also an issue.
His SID has sky-rocketed and he can't tolerate i.e. siren noise even if it comes from afar.
He reacts the same way to stimuli and situations as my friend's two year old... except I've had him for 4 1/2 years and it's really draining me.
He gets into fist fights with his brother and becomes obsessed over objects. Things have to be a certain way or done a certain way otherwise we have a meltdown. I know they got the PDD-Nos diagnosis dropped last year and this is most likely a SID diagnosis (some things are common for both) and he has become a MASTER manipulator... I am so drained by him... I think I might have spoiled him a little too which would be ok and manageable (and reverseable) in a normal child but John gives me pause.
I am terrified he won't be ready for kindergarten next September. He just won't sit down to do school work... I am NOT looking forward to him being a teen!!

***

In other news, my dad had a rough time with chemo side-effects, I am behind with work because by 9pm I am DRAGGING, I am too exhausted and we added a kitten to our brood which deserves a post of his own...
and I have 3 OOAKs to sell.. more on that later.

I am off to cook and pick the boys from school. Cody's teeth are falling apart, I've already paid more than $1000 out of pocket for his teeth and there is no end in sight :( He's got enamel hypoplasia... great!

Hugs to all

32 lbs!!

THIRTY TWO POUNDS 12 OUNCES!!!!!
Take THAT Failure to Thrive!! HA!!! 36.5% on the normal (not preemie or CP) growth chart!!
HA!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Go John GOOOOOO!!!

Prayers needed...

My darling Dad started chemotherapy today... will you please say a prayer for him?
Thank you!!

Peacefully sleeping

I promised you cute baby photos, didn't I?



With her brothers...


Sweet dreams little one...

Happy Easter!!

Easter came and went, under the heavy shadow of our grandfather's death and my father's bladder cancer diagnosis and impending chemotherapy this coming Wednesday.

It was quiet around here, I worked some, George was sick the entire time with gastroenteritis, which he passed to me (but I am a quick healer and I feel ok now) and the boys of course... So it was uhm... interesting around here for a while.

Then yesterday we celebrated Easter at my dad's with family and friends, we ate, we laughed, my youngest brother was attacked by my brother's totally insane cat (have you seen Catzilla? No joke, this cat is MANIC she needs to be put down)... and Cody suddenly got a 104 fever!!!
A dose of Ponstan later, he felt better... then I noticed the blisters in his hands (and a few on the feet). And he complained his tooth hurt but a bit of searching later and we realized it was his tongue, or rather his entire mouth that has ulcers... you guessed it... Hand-Foot-Mouth AGAIN (this time from a different enterovirus)... Of course he has stopped eating, he can really talk well because he can't move his tongue well in his mouth... and there is NOTHING I can do to help him other than keep up with mouth numbing/pain medication.

Sigh...
Tomorrow they were supposed to go back to school but I don't see how I can send Cody in when I know he is infectious. The fever is gone though and other than the pain, he seems to be feeling a little better.
We let him play Wii (sports resort) to take him mind off the pain and later I might take him to the park as it's a loverly warm day..

Other than all of that, I did put some work in these days and I have some beautiful babes to show you...
Next post will have cute babies in it :)

HAPPY EASTER everyone, hope you had a good one!
Hugs
Tina

My baby girl has arrived...

... and she reminds me so much of Cody as a newborn, it's amazing...
World meet Ellie... Ellie welcome to the world...