Monday, August 08, 2011

And just like that, they are gone...

My boys are off to a few days of pampering with grandma on the mountains.
We got them up very early and loaded them into a bus with their godmother and off they went.
Cody was emotional and clearly torn between wanting to go and wanting to stay with mommy.
John, as always the cool and level headed one, didn't even glance back, didn't even kiss me goodbye and skipped happily away... Kinda broke my heart but I know he loves me, he just has dificulty adjusting to social standards because in his world, he knows he loves me, there is no need for social musts like a kiss goodbye or even say the words "I love you mommy".

They have arrived safely and when I called them a minute ago, they were outside playing and enjoying a spectacular view from the house which is perched at the edge of a cliff overlooking the mountains.

Since they have been gone, I went out for a date with George. It was silly really, it was as if we couldn't wait to get out of the house, like someone was going to bring them back any minute. We haven't been on a date for months and since we had the boys the times someone kept them so we could go out are counted in the fingers of one hand, so needless to say, we were starving for some alone time outside the house.

We had lunch, then a coffee and then ice cream, it was wonderful. We acted like two school children whose bags are already packed and they dash out the door milliseconds even before the bell rings for dismissal.

I enjoyed a night of uninterrupted sleep and I got up in my own time in the morning. It was awesome. As I was vacuuming, It occured to me as if it was new, that I was alone and would be alone all day without the kids but I felt at peace. Even at school, I was always missing them and worrying about them, because I didn't trust their teacher and I thought they were not happy there. But since I know they are having a blast right now, even without me, I am at peace.

I know this all sounds strange to some, especially to those who are lucky to have parents on both sides who actually care about their grandchildren, enjoy spending time with them and gladly take them for a weekend every other month or babysit regularly etc.
But to me, having no help (not even hired help) this interlude of 4 days without them is a HUGE thing and it won't be repeated again for at least a year.
So here I am on one hand missing them, on the other jumping for joy. A million "I want to dos" is running through my head and I know I don't have enough time for everything because, truth be told, the #1 priority is finishing my chores and sculpting...which in itself  will leave little time for anything else... Can't believe I am child free for 4 more days :)
Can't believe they are not in their room :(

Am I crazy??


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