Monday, February 28, 2011

Not a real baby...

... seriously... he is not real.. but couldn't he fool you?

Sunday, February 27, 2011

They all start up like this...

... and after many hours/days/sometimes even MONTHS... they look like this...

And after you sigh becaues you've made it through...

You realize you've got to start thinking about limbs...

And that's when I usually need a break... :) and that is why it takes me so long to finish them!
The End :)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

On eBay tonight...

And for ONE day only... Baby Holden... one of my best this year I think...

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Another way to look at it...

Up until a few days ago, when things where doom and gloom at school with John, I would ask myself, during my monthly self-pity party, "why me? Why John? I did everything right with him during pregnancy. I have never smoked in my life, I do not drink, I took all my prenatals, I ate right, I was on bedrest... why does John have special needs?"

After our committee evaluation the last two weeks, I was told John is "a rare child". His intelligence is MENSA worthy, he is a genius, not just because of his vocabulary but because of the way he has made sense of the world around, of the intricate connections he understands and the way he interacts... Genius indeed...

I knew my kid was smart, but hearing it from the "horse's mouth" after two weeks of every imaginable testing has really boosted my spirits and hopes for John.
So I started looking at it like this: John, as a fetus, faced dire odds. He wasn't supposed to survive as we were told in our 20 week anatomy scan... yet, he survived against all odds for 16 whole weeks and we surpased our 28 week mark by 8 whole weeks... and I got a living, breathing child, albeit bruised and battle scarred.

And this is how I look at it now... BECAUSE I never smoked and never drink... BECAUSE I stayed in bed for 16 weeks sleeping in a sitting position... BECAUSE I took all my prenatals and ate right... John survived in me against all odds.. and because of all that, when he suffered brain damage in utero and his brain was forced to re-wire, something happened then, something developed in his brain and not only he is able to talk and walk with only mild CP, he is also very very smart...

So I did everything right and my son survived... and he is perfect to my eyes... and if his lazy ass teacher and everyone else who shunned him away can't see that... TOO BAD FOR THEM!! my son knows he is loved, he is secure in his knowledge he is unique and I feel sorry for anyone who will not look beyond his awkward gait and the things he can't do, to see the gem he is and the things he CAN do...especially when he is the ONLY one of his peers who can do them, including his twin brother.

I am so happy it IS me who has John :) I am so blessed!! :)


First let me thank you for your kind e-mails and comments regarding my post last night :) You are soooo sweet :)

I am sick (again) and because of my blog I can now track exactly how often the boys pass something to me on a monthly basis.. It's ok, it's just a little cold, I will be fine but its relevant to what I want to tell you :)
Last night, I took a couple of pills for the cold so my nose would allow me to, you know, BREATHE during the night and went to bed..

I dreamt I was a NICU nurse (what do they PUT in those cold pills?!?!?). And I dreamed of preemies..and I was like "Oh my Gosh, I get to see a MICRO PREEMIE in the FLESH... I need to remember all this so I can SCULPT a better one!"
Yeah... there must be something really good in these pills... Don't be alarmed if a micro preemie gets sculpted in the next few days... because by golly, I was in a NICU and saw them... in the flesh... oh wait... ehmmmmm... maybe it was an out of body experience??
Whateva... I love my little green cold and flu pills ;) ;)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Artist thoughts..

When I started this blog, I did so, so I could share my creations AND my thoughts with all of you... I've always believed I am nothing special really, just your ordinary girl next door. I sculpt because I LOVE it not because I want to get rich by it or become famous. It was a nice surprise when I was brought to a position where I could support my family doing what I loved... I will admit sometimes, it IS about the money... I put bread on the table with my dolls, I have no other means to support our family... but most times, it is about doing what I love... for those I love... you, the collectors, who many have become my friends over the years...

So today I want to talk about when you make something that doesn't sell...
"Daddy's Girl" from last week... didn't sell. Not even when I lowered her price by $200... Now I've got an auction that ends tomorrow, and not one bid... let's forget the financial aspect of this for a minute...
What ELSE does this mean to me?

Those who know me, know I am not a competitive person... I am not intimidated by other talented people, the opposite, I support them and help them if I can (and they ask for it :)). I think the biggest proof of this is that I teach sculpting :)

Both of the sculpts, I did with great care, loads of love and in my opinion they are Awesome!! I put a lot of work in them, in fact they each took me a long time to finish because I did them in between orders...
So when they didn't sell you know what I thought? People rejected my work :( You would think the first thought would be something like, "oh no, the power bill is up and I didn't sell like I planned to, now where will I find the money?" or "people might not have money at this time"... But no... my thoughts are "they didn't like them, I am not a good sculptor!" :(
Insecure much?

I often get e-mails filled with praise and I have been generally successful in what I do but I don't think I am "there" yet... where exactly is "there" I don't know. I just feel I still have so much to learn and there is room for much improvement... I often see sculptures by other artists, usually new ones and I think "wow I want to be like HER!"... Yeah I know, silly huh? But you see, I told you I was like everyone else :)

Going back to the issue of money though... I really hope my babies sell this week :) I really do have bills to pay lol :)


There are days I am content with my little family and others I desperately want another child... not just any child though, a girl named Ellie after my grandmother.
You see, I see everything as temporary, like my marriage situation for instance or the financial aspect, whereas a child is forever... I am like a single mom anyway in every aspect of daily life... EVERY aspect... so if *I* think I can manage, why not go for it right?

Then of course there is the issue of the extra weight... I gained 100lbs since I was 25 and we started trying... the injections, the pills, the worry, the 3 years of chemicals pumped into me... I gained.
I can't (and shouldn't) get PG in this weight... however I seem unable (and unwilling) to lose weight.

Sigh... a baby girl... Will I regret NOT having another baby say, 20 years from now? YES!! I am positive I will... I am sure in 20 years I will look back and think things weren't so bad maybe... and I could have had another one. So where does this leave me now?
I am not sure... all I know is, until I hold my baby girl in my arms and smell her sweet skin... my heart will continue longing and command my hands to make baby girls... from clay...

Sunday, February 20, 2011

On eBay tonight...

I've worked on the baby and her "goodies" whenever time allowed since before Christmas and she is finally ready... going on eBay tonight.
Here's her presentation...

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And here is her auction:

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Better and some eye candy...

I woke up this morning with a rotten headache... the whole back of my neck was killing me and so was the lower part of my skull.
I decided not to take the boys to school (which was a good thing as it turned out, keep reading) and because of my rotten behavior yesterday, I would make it up to them today.

So I got up, took a Panadol, and when we all got up, I took them to IKEA for breakfast (they love it) and we bought a night light we needed for their room. They picked out a blue mushroom!
Then I took them to the Playmobil FunPark where they were delighted to find that the new line "Secret Agents" was out!! When we left I bought them each a toy... I was spoiling them, I know, but this is mommy guilt...

We went to therapy, then I took them out for lunch and we had "souvlakia", a traditional Greek food, kind of like Fish and Chips, in the sense you can get it everywhere and you can eat it as you go.
At five we had an appointment for haircuts and then we visited grandma Eva for a bit, then went home, where they had a looong bath with loads of toys, while mommy checked e-mail she hadn't checked for 24hrs!
(don't worry, the bathroom is right next to my room and hey, they are five now... lol)

Then it went sour... Cody got out of the tub screaming his ear hurt. He's had a stuffy nose and productive cough for a week now but the doc said it is just a common virus, no need for antibiotics and it will clear out on it's own... turns out, the fluid built-up, hurt his inner ear even though we have been dilligent with cleaning his nose with salline and all that jazz.

I called my MIL to get me some ear drops and she brought me EYE drops!
I managed to get Cody to drink some kid Ibuprofen and he calmed down and went to sleep... John on the other hand... proceeded to throw up everything he had eatten all day, all over my bathroom... then he wouldn't go to sleep and he is now asleep behinme on my bed as I type this...

Aaaaaand looks like they won't be going to school tomorrow either... and I need to get them to the doctor to be checked out... and I won't be having my haircut I so desperately need... which is ok. I can look like a mop for a few more days, right?

And here is some eye candy for you... I can't understand why she hasn't found a mommy yet... She is SO beautiful and REAL looking, at least in person... anyhoo... here is "Daddy's Girl".
Good night and here's hoping a better day dawns on us tomorrow!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

This morning

This morning I woke up after two weeks of extreme stress with the boys going through the "system" and evaluations (today is the last one), with a headache, a very heavy heart and my nerves felt shattered.
I was so tired, I didn't take them school, I couldn't get out of bed and I couldn't get THEM out of bed either...

I feel if someone touches me, I will slap him.. I am so TENSE, I've been screaming all day. This is not good... I just had a nervous breakdown on the phone. I need to take Cody to his child-psych evaluation in less than an hour. I can't even THINK straight. I do not know what is wrong with me but suddenly the drugs the psychiatrist I have been seeing, offered, sound like a good idea. Maybe something light to get me to function again...

It is exhausting to be in charge for two boys, who at age 5+, one would think, would be somewhat independent and able to play FOR FIVE FRACKING MINUTES ON THEIR OWN!!!!
Ok I am doing it AGAIN... this is NOT my day.

I just wanted to let everyone know I am turning my PC off for the day.. I can't take it. I just need some peace and quiet, to get down and catch up with work and maybe once I am caught up, I will feel better in general... so please do not worry if you do not hear from me today. I will still get through work but I just need to focus right now... get the evaluation over with, get the boys to my MIL for a few hrs, sit down and complete some orders so I can breath easier and feel better all around.
I think work is the one thing that calms me right now...

I will be back tomorrow with photos and news of completed work all around I hope... I just need ONE day to really focus... and maybe that will stop me from screaming at everyone ..and no I don't feel better afterwards either... this sucks :(

Thursday, February 10, 2011

"Baby Boy"

I kinda feel sad that lately, I am so overwhelmed that I don't share as many of the sculpts I am completing with you guys but on the other hand, I like how I can connect with you via this blog, share my troubles, my thoughts... but some come in often for some eye candy so I will try and make a recent work gallery and update it often for you :)

But for now, here is a little boy I haven't shared (not available).

I think I might be getting tired lately.. the other day I was taking photos of an unbaked head and it rolled off the blanket on me just as I stepped away after arranging it, and the nose was all smooshed... then a few days ago I was packing an OOAK for the UK and ehm... I tripped over the cat (who wanted to be fed) and my hand landed on his knee and I broke his leg! Yeah... clumsy much?

Sitting Pretty

This little girl (light tan skin Naunitta) is sitting so pretty in her high chair, waiting to be fed, I couldn't help stop what I was doing, take a picture and share it with you!!
I've tried to sell her several times but nobody seems to like her as much as I do, so I guess I will be fostering her a little longer lol :)

Not that I mind, really. She is SUCH a good girl!!! :)

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Please pray!

Hi everyone,

For those who do not know us, I am Tina, I have twin boys who just turned 5 years old .One with ADHD, and one with multiple issues including CP.

Today is our review board meeting... this is a VERY important meeting. It can make or break, John's school career.

They will decide if an aide is required... and it IS required, problem is because Greece is in crisis right now, they will do EVERYTHING to get out of it, including asking the school board that John repeats classes, even though he is a MODEL student and the brightest in his class, just so they do not have to pay for an aide.

PLEASE prayer warriors, please, pray for John and Cody to get ONE aide to help them both in class. I have been praying for this for months and after months and months of being in the waiting list, we finally get our review today...

I believe that God, who trusted these two in my care, will not abandon them/me... we've fought for John's right to live while I was pregnant, now we are fighting for his quality of life, for an education and a decent shot at a future... please help his intellect shine beyond a broken body, please pray for an aide for John...

Thank you so much in advance... Dear Lord, you've held my hand throughout infertility, throughout a difficult and painful pregnancy please do not abandon my sons now... Amen.

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