Friday, May 21, 2010

We're back

Hi world!
Sorry the blog was down for a while, hubby was trying a few new things with it.

An update on us, we are still in one piece :) I am *exhausted* from helping my dad move one floor below, me moving to a real studio and then of course re-doing the apartment because I emptied out my stuff for the move. Also I seem to be having loads of e-mails especially to AOL (but not only) not reach their recepients or coming back undelivered. So if you have mailed me but haven't heard back, please check with me again.

I know these last 3 weeks since I started moving things, I was a little out of touch, but I was literally coming home and falling asleep on my feet, my physical exhaustion is HUGE at the moment. However I did put in work between everything else and I assure you this coming week absolutely everything will be going out, if it hasn't already (as I did ship a few dolls this week as well).

Thank you so much for your kind understanding and patience and I apologize if I made you weary :)
Dolly hugs

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Hi all,
Ok so let's see, it's been a few days since I've posted.
My dad is doing ok, not great but ok, and has been released from the hospital this morning. They are discontinuing the chemo until further notice.

John got sick on Saturday and was running a fever all through... he is still a little warm today but a dose of Tylenol and he is all better.
Cody on the other hand is very sick. He has a really high temperature and has been throwing up yellow/green stuff every ten minutes since he woke up this morning.
He is like his dad in sickness so he has been in bed all day which means he is feeling REALLY bad.
The best news (not really)!? George is on duty today... thankfully I finished their room yesterday, I now have "just" the rest of the house to do...
I am *exhausted*, I honestly don't know how I put one foot in front of the other... add the fact George is in a FOUL mood and I can't even talk to him (of course no way he would deal with sick kids, room clean outs or anything else right now)...

I am really behind with my e-mails, so bear with me for a couple more days while I sort those through.
I will post pictures of cute babes when I can... not that I've managed to do a lot of work since Friday mind you.

It's just so weird we were more or less ok through the winter (except the swine flu and that horrible hand/foot/mouth Cody got TWICE), with mild fevers and only mild snotty noses and some coughs...and that horrible case of the stomach flu.. and it's now Spring (and it's really hot!) and we go places like the park and generally outside and the boys get THIS sick. I'm telling you Cody is pathetic at the moment, he is sheet white, black circles under his eyes, white lips... oh and did I mention his fingernails are peeling off at the cuticle? Yeah he is missing chunks of nails from that stupid Hand/Foot/ least it doesn't seem to hurt him.

I've got to go, thank you all for your kind kind patience... pray for a swift recovery for my little guy and extra energy and strength for me please, I need it!

Friday, May 07, 2010

Dad's in the hospital, I will be MIA

Don't be alarmed if you don't hear from me at all for the next 2-3 days, my dad just got admitted to the hospital. I packed a bag for him and off I go. The boys are staying with my MIL.
Say a prayer for him!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Why moms of special needs kids ROCK!

(from this blog:

Like my friend said "Yeah! What she said"

Top 20 Reasons Moms of Kids With Special Needs ROCK

1. Because we never thought that “doing it all” would mean doing this much. But we do it all, and then some.
2. Because we’ve discovered patience we never knew we had.
3. Because we are willing to do something 10 times, 100 times, 1,000 times if that’s what it takes for our kids to learn something new.
4. Because we have heard doctors tell us the worst, and we've refused to believe them. TAKE THAT, nay-saying doctors of the world.
5. Because we have bad days and breakdowns and bawl-fests, and then we pick ourselves up and keep right on going.
6. Because we gracefully handle the stares, the comments, the rude remarks. Well, mostly gracefully.
7. Because we manage to get ourselves together and get out the door looking pretty damn good. Heck, we even make sweatpants look good.
8. Because we are strong. Man, are we strong. Who knew we could be this strong?
9. Because we aren’t just moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work. We are moms, wives, cooks, cleaners, chauffeurs, women who work, physical therapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists, teachers, researchers, nurses, coaches, and cheerleaders. Whew.
10. Because we work overtime every single day.
11. Because we also worry overtime, but we work it through. Or we eat chocolate or Pirate's Booty or gourmet cheese, which aren't reimbursable by insurance as mental-health necessities but should be.
12. Because we are more selfless than other moms. Our kids need us more.
13. Because we give our kids with special needs endless love, and then we still have so much love left for our other kids, our husbands, our family. And our hairstylist, of course.
14. Because we inspire one another in this crazy blogosphere every single day.
15. Because we understand our kids better than anyone else—even if they can’t talk, even if they can’t gesture, even if they can't look us in the eye. We know. We just know.
16. Because we never stop pushing for our kids.
17. Because we never stop hoping for them, either.
18. Because just when it seems like things are going OK, they're suddenly not OK, but we deal. Somehow, we always deal, even when it seems like our heads or hearts might explode.
19. Because when we look at our kids we just see great kids. Not "kids with cerebral palsy/autism/Down syndrome/developmental delays/whatever label."
20. Because, well, you tell me.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Plan B

It would have gone like this:
I would get married to the love of my life, who I met over the internet when I was 15. We would have a baby and it would be so perfect... I would take the baby on long walks and teach him a bunch of things. There would be peaceful days were we would sit, him (or her) curled up on my chest and we would read...and when he was older, he would clutch my hand as we walked through the zoo, me pregnant for the second time, him or her, expecting to be a big brother or sister and then I would do it all over again...

In reality it went like this: I married the love of my life but couldn't have kids. The ensuing two years of infertility treatment turned his beautiful slim wife into a whale physically and a maniacal person mentally. He didn't dare bring up children or pregnancies up in front of her because she would break into a million pieces right in front of him. Not only that but when finally, finally she became pregnant, it was the hardest pregnancy ever...
They lost a baby and came this close to losing a second.
Instead of one, they were blessed with twins, which was great except all their savings and all their plans and everything else got thrown out the window.
All that turned my husband, who has a huge problem in dealing with his stress and anxiety in a grown-up civilized and logical manner, into a monster of abusive words and controlling, irrational behavior who instead of helping out, stepped out and left me all along to fend for the kids we so much wanted ...

Then it was time for plan B.. instead of my quiet walks and book reading, I got a child that can't control his impulses and can't make his body stop moving or his brain stop racing in 200 different directions at once... it's called ADHD and that's what Cody has.

I also got a child who motor cortex is fried, whose eyes are failing him, his ears too and he can't tolerate a multitude of things in his daily life, like noise, crowds, grass, sand, textures, colors, sounds, bubble bath foam, short sleeved t-shirts, shorts, sandals, his glasses, the patch that will save his eye, even me some times.
Of course there is no talk of another baby seeing I had such a difficult and damaging pregnancy (but oh how I want one secretly!).

I know some people will probably feel sorry for me that "normal" isn't what I got but don't be... I see it as an honor that God chose me to care for these two little souls, that He saw I was fit and then provided me with needed to meet their needs.
On one hand some times I am sad that those long walks never happened... or that quiet reading is out of the question.. or that crafts can't happen... but I get to celebrate some things only a "special" mom can... like your child hugging you for the first time at age 3 and saying I love you for the first time at 3 1/2.
Running at age 4... reaching 32 lbs after a year of trying.

My perspective has changed... I take nothing for granted... In fact I feel so blessed some times I am waiting for the other shoe to drop because I see my kids so perfect.. I don't care about the world and what they think...
I know I am behind at work, I know people say mean things about me but I am also grateful for those who do prefer me and believe in me and patiently wait... I am grateful for my gift that allows me to work from home and meet their needs...
I thank God each day for my collectors and dealers and pray they are all kept well and happy.

I don't take anything for granted... and I am humbled by how much my kids have taught me and I am ashamed I have taught them so much less... I feel like I took so much more than I gave them so far... so beautiful, so brave, so perfect and so ... MINE!!!

Monday, May 03, 2010

Update on the Discover Dolls Show!!

Hi everybody!

Well it is now certain I will not be able to go to the Peterborough show in June.
My husband just incurred a HUGE pay-cut, you must have heard of the dreadful financial situation Greece is in right now, and it has come to the point, I can't afford to go :(
I just can't make enough dolls to sell to pick up the slack and to cover this month's bills and have enough to sell at the show to make it a trip with some profit instead of me paying out of pocket... and I only have two students for the scultping class :( (the money just to rent the room for the day is more than what the students were asked to pay for the course).

I am gutted to say the least I can't come, I was so looking forward to this but we put everything down on paper and the money just isn't there and the students just didn't sign up :( Had I more students, it might have been a done deal but things didn't turn out like that :(

I apologize for the inconvenience.. as I said I am gutted too and of course I will make it up to the two girls and the dolls that I have already made will be sold, so if you were looking to buy a Kewy at show price, do not worry, you will get your chance. More on that later though.

Sigh... I am so upset :( I will miss you all so much!!
Please take loads of photos for me...

If the world is falling down around your ears...

... and it certainly feels like that after the government announced even harder financial rules... George's salary is now down to just 800 Euros a month... and 480 of that is what we pay for the loan we took to buy the apartment (which is not that bad as rent would be more and we wouldn't own the apartment).

I really feel the world is coming down around my ears... it doesn't look like we will afford private kindergarten for the boys right now :( Which is really hard because the public kindergarten gets off at 12.30... which means I can't work during the day which will create another set of problems of its own... and John is doing SO well in his new school. He has made such progress, how can I take him away from it?
I don't know what to do... God please give me clarity and guide my steps so that I do what is right and best for my kids and my family because right now, I just don't know... and I am scared and worried and I can't sleep at night and I can't find joy in anything... I find it hard to even lift my head at the moment and everything is coming crashing down on me... I feel so... alone.

But then, I see this: (click to enlarge)

... and somehow, when they are around I am less scared and less worried and happier and certainly not alone.

I Designed My Own Blog at Sour Apple Studio DIY