Saturday, March 20, 2010

Normal vs. Tina

Ok, so I was an oddball all my life... which is not really a bad thing really.
I am sociable, friendly, loyal... I am also quite disorganized lol.
About a year ago, while my boys were getting their diagnoses revised based on the progress they had made, I got tested too because some things run in a family... and I am a classic case of ADHD myself... except I was never formally diagnosed as a child like my boys were. I was just labeled "trouble maker" and downright "odd" and I was left to my own devises.
There was a lot of eye rolling and "tsks" when I was growing up... and my name being prounounced drawn out like "Oh Tinaaaaa" (accompanied by eye rolling and usually followed by "not again").

There was ONE thing that kept me in one place longer than 5 minutes... ONE thing I would give heart and soul and would focus me for HOURS upon HOURS at a time... sculpting (or creating in general, because I used to draw too when I was younger and also construct things... like a tree house... at age 10... all alone)

I grew up an oddball but you know what? I didn't mind. I wasn't shy, but I wasn't a punk either. At age 15 my favorite pastime was a bag of poppy seeds and a good book.
Or playing tabletop RPG...

I am still an oddball. I do something that raises eyebrows... I possibly one of the very few women (VERY few) that get excited about a $3 wooden storage unit that will fit my new mini baby room JUST right... I don't care about jewelry. I don't get expensive clothing and my vices are Starbucks coffee, cool running shoes and new shiny tools and supplies for work... and cameras... and cellphones.
I don't drink or smoke... But MAN I get all giddy at toy stores!! LOVE toy stores.
And I get goose bumps in artist shops... like today when I got JUST what I wanted and it was only $5!!!

I am an oddball... I dress in jeans and running shoes and I don't look a day over 25, really.. people don't believe I have kids (it's not common in Greece to have kids when you are under 35). And amongst all the other moms in my sons' class, I stick out like a sore thumb...
For years I struggled with my "uniqueness". My grandparents (my biggest fans) told me being "unique" is super... all the nasty comments was pure green eyed jealousy... but I still cried because I thought they were just being nice...
But you know what? I love being Tina... oddballness and all.
I stick out, sure... I am different... some say I am not even exactly "normal"... and you know what?
WHO CARES?! I love being me :)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Work in Progress

But coming soon in auction...
Little Katie (click to enlarge)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I won! I won!!

And I never win...but I won something, or rather my sculpting won something :)
Click here

Sunday, March 14, 2010

John & Cody Monthly

Dear John,

You are now 4 years and 4 months old. You have grown by 1/2 an inch this month and you began the month by losing some weight because you were sick. However, later on you decided food is good and you started eating again and now you have gained a pound!! :)

You were so weak, you couldn't even speak above a whisper but you are getting your voice back finally :)
This month you decided to be obsessed with all things space and alien!! lol
We celebrated your dad's birthday and your grandpa's birthday was the next day!!
We got him a strawberry cake and you ate all the strawberries!!
You started back on the swim team this month and you LOVE it with a passion. Maybe because the pool is heated this time around lol. We only had one blue lips episode and it lasted a few hours so I call it progress :) If you put more fat on your bones, you will maintain heat better and I promise you, you will drop a few layers of clothing and you will move easier.
This month you managed to skip for the first time and now you are skipping everywhere!
It's been a good month :)

Cody you are getting taller and taller each month!!
You've had pretty severe dental issues this month which haven't been all corrected yet. On top of everything you seem to have caught my stomach bug and you are feeling pretty bad today :(

You are doing great in school and in swim class and you are impressing everyone with your love for water. There is talk about the junior water polo team wanting you even thought you are 18 months too young... because you are so tall though, they would make an exception should you wish to take part. It's your choice :)

Today marks a very important date: it's your five year birthday ... five years ago to the day you were conceived and started your life in my womb. Although legally, you wouldn't be considered "alive" for another 34 weeks, I believe life starts at conception so there you have it.

You both got a haircut a few days ago, finally... if your hair got a little longer, you might have joined the Beattles!!

Here are a few pictures of you from today (before Cody started feeling yucky):
(taken with my cell phone - click to enlarge)

Cwaaaazy week

Oh wow!! I think I had one of the craziest weeks yet!!
Let me see: my dad was rushed to hospital and the next day he had an operation to remove a (huge) stone from his ureter that was causing him a ton of pain and other issues.
It went well except they found growths in his bladder. If you recall my dad was diagnosed with Leukemia back in September... so now we are waiting to hear back on the results (please pray they are benign!).

In recovery, my dad had a few complications so he ended up staying the entire week... My dad and mom are divorced and I am the only daughter so guess who stayed with dad (not that I minded, mind you)... well while in the hospital and inspite my almost OC hand sanitizing, *I* picked up a stomach bug... That and a migraine are the worse things you can do to me!!
Today I feel a little better, thank God ...

And because you know, this was a cake and it needed a cherry, yesterday we had the "magnet incident".
As a doll maker I stock a lot of magnets... I let the kids play with them, because you know, they ARE fun and educational. Of course when I do let them play I am right THERE because I am terrified of them swallowing them..

A few years ago I read on the parenting board, about this kid who swallowed two magnets from this magnetic toy, and they traveled down his GI tract and then pinched his intestines together and he almost died before his parents took him to the hospital (days later).

So guess what my 4+ little boy did with the magnets... I turned my eyes for a second to John and out of the corner of my eye, I see Cody putting the magnets in his mouth... and then trying to spit them out..
OMGosh, I thought I would have a stroke..
I asked him if he had swallowed a magnet and he said yes!!
I rushed to the fridge to get the vomit-inducing medication only to see that it had expired last month! And there are no pharmacies open on Saturdays in Greece!! (it's not like in the UK and US where you can go to the super market to get OTC medications - all medicines are sold in specialized pharmacies that only work 5 days a week).
So we had to look through to find an on duty one... so we go there and I get the Ipecavom and make Cody drink it..
The other option was to take him to the ER, but I was too scared he would catch something and the hours long wait etc etc.

Sure enough the Ipecavom did its job and Cody threw up eventually. No magnet and of course I found the magnet on the couch in the folds of the cover but only after I had made my 4 year old throw up his breakfast.
That wasn't the worst thing though... my husband was furious because you know, it was my fault. He really hates my doll sculpting supplies at home, he really does. He likes the money it brings but he thinks our kids will be harmed one day.. I never leave my stuff lying around and especially the magnets, I keep in a safe place. I only had them out because I was putting one in a doll.
So my husband got my son to be in hysterics, terrified out of his mind that someone was going to cut his belly open to get the magnet, while shooting mean glances my way.. it wasn't pretty and it was hrs before I managed to calm everyone down...
Which in turn gave me a migraine... so then I had both a stomach bug and a migraine. Can you blame me for being a zombie yesterday?

Thankfully I am a little better today...

Friday, March 12, 2010

5 years ago today...

Five years ago today, on March 12th 2005, I injected myself with the last dose of a medicine called Follistim.
Five years ago today my life changed forever in ways I couldn't even imagine...
In a way, nothing went according to "plan"... and in a way, everything was following the perfect plan...

I honestly could not wai to have kids but we got off on the wrong foot from the get go when I went in for a regular check up only to find out I couldn't conceive naturally.
This was followed by two years of doctors' visits, hospital stays, exploratory surgeries and drugs, drugs, drugs, trying to beat my body into submission.

I wasn't prepared for the physical or emotional toll of infertility... What it did to my body and my marriage was unimaginable... But, unknown to me at the time, on the 13th March 2005, I ovulated for the first time in years, and on the 14th March 2005, three little embryos burrowed themselves into me... 8 months later, on November 14th, I would give birth to two of them, one, sadly, lost earlier.

I wasn't prepared for the side effects after ovulation either. I was inflicted with a rare side-effect called OHSS. My abdominal cavity filled with fluid, which caused me excruciating pain. Every internal organ was being squished... I couldn't move, I could hardly breathe and there was danger of me drowning in my own fluid or my heart stopping if the fluid build-up was too much.
For days I was in and out of consiousness, feverish and not allowed to take anything stronger than paracetamol.

On the morning of March 26th, my husband was on duty, I took a pregnancy test after a weird dream I had had. I was back in my kindergarten class, teaching, but the class was all boys... and they were all saying something to me at once I couldn't understand.
The test was an immediate positive!!! I remember crying so hard!!!

The pregnancy didn't go according to plan either... it was physically draining, dangerous, nerve wracking and not to mention expensive... From start to finish, the treatment, doctors and actual birth cost us more than $20,000. (not covered by insurance!)

I wasn't prepared to lose a baby, being threatened to lose another one (John), going on bedrest for 16 weeks, sleeping sitting up in a couch for those 16 weeks, not be able to turn to my side or for my pelvis to break down and separate. It took me a full year after giving birth to feel somewhat normal again and not be in pain.

Also, I certainly never imagined I would have a special needs child and I wasn't prepared for the overwhelming experience of going through diagnosis, to therapy, to daily life like that. My life is anything but your standard "normal".
I wasn't expecting the break down of my marriage, I wasn't expecting the breakdown of my business either... I went from a "good artist" to a "good artist with horrible customer service"..Yes I do admit it, I've got nothing to hide here. I think this is probably my ONE AND ONLY regret about everything that happened to me in the last 5 years. You cannot imagine how bone tired I am and how difficult it is to maintain a balance between taking care of everything (since hubby only comes home to eat and sleep basically), every tiny thing plus working to support us as the dolls ARE my bread and butter... There are days I am shutting down at 9pm... even in the mornings I am dragging. I've gone without a full night's sleep since they were born with the exception of when I am away on a doll show :)

But I get to see their smiling faces every single day.. I get told I am Barbie (even though I weigh over 200 lbs at the moment - another side effect of prolonged fertility treatment and an extra stressful life)... I get chocolate dipped kisses and my own kiss, heals every wound and takes away every pain ...
For two little people *I* am the entire world, the cat's meow and I can never do wrong.
In the last five years I've SO much... but gained much much more in the faces of two little boys... Everything I do, I do for them... they are behind each of my creations, my heart sings their names with every beat... They have taught me so much more than I have taught them... I am a better person because of them (and I have very bad customer service because of them also lol).

Five years ago today, my life changed. *I* changed...
Five years ago today, silently, without noticing, I took my very first breath and was born again...
Thank you God for granting me my one and only wish. Thank you for chosing those two little souls to be my kids... In your infinite wisdom, you couldn't have chosen better for me.
It certainly wasn't what I had asked for or wanted at the time... but it was most certainly what I needed desperately!!

Sunday, March 07, 2010

The Chunky One

Wow, little Izzy turned out to be a chunk monster!! :)
Look at thos chubby legs and arms and fat rolls...
I want to pinch her!!

Don't you? And she's big too!!

And it's kind of scary how much she looks like my son at birth...

Saturday, March 06, 2010

News and cute baby :)

Hi everyone!!
another busy week at the Kewy household lol.
First thank you for praying about my brother. The graft seems to be taking and even though it will take a long long time, eventually his finger will heal completely!! So thank you about that!

On other news, YES I am going to the Discover Dolls show in June. I will be exhibiting for 2 days, I will be doing a one day "Make a mini baby" course during which the students will complete, bake, color and clothe and go home with their very own mini baby!! I have spots left so mail me for info!!

I will be showing you my two new resins at the Show and have some for sale. Remember I will NOT be taking any more pre-orders because I really want to stay afloat here and not make people wait so this will be your only chance to buy direct and on the spot. I take PayPal on the spot too :)

I will also have life size OOAKs for sale and remember there is a decent discount when you buy from me at a show, cash so it's win win :) No waiting on the post office and a discount... cool huh?

Now this little baby is still looking for a home and is becoming depressed poor thing :(
She is $260 shipped... 6" tall. Mommy, mommy where are you?? (click to enlarge)

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