Monday, June 24, 2013


"Mrs. Kewy, you are free, do you realize that?" my attorney asked me while I was sniffling away, stress chocking me.

Free? I didn't feel free. I felt stressed and sad and angry and disappointed but not free.

In reality I am free. We are free. I get small glimpses of this once in a while, like the other day, the boys and I went to the beach in the afternoon and we stayed there until, get this... it was dark!!
We enjoyed ourselves so much! There was nobody to tell us to go after an hour because he was bored. Nobody yelled at them because they talked to another kid or because they exchanged their toys for someone else's (a huge no no with G. previously). They had fun and I had fun with them. I stayed in the water until I felt my wrinkled skin would fall off ;)

I am free.. am I happy? At the moment, not really... but I need to give myself time. It has been a little over a week. We haven't find our equilibrium yet, the boys and I. We need to figure things out, we need to figure this (still box ridden) apartment out, they need to learn new rules, I need to redefine myself because for all this time, my whole existence was centered around keeping him happy and make sure he does not explode or smooth things over when he did.

I don't remember who I was before him. I don't remember what I liked because if he didn't approve of it, it had to go (my dog for instance when we moved in). Who am I, what do I want, where am I going? I don't know.. but right now, at the start of summer, I know my whole existence is taken up by these two little ones and how I will make it less of a struggle for them.
I get up in the morning, plaster a smile on my face and work hard on swallowing my fears and insecurities and moving on with my day.

That said, I have work to do ;)
Ironing... yuck! And we don't have an A/C. Yeah... not looking forward to that!
As soon as the sun goes down, we will head to the playground... that is if they clean their room ;) New rules lol.

Hugs to all and thank you for your kind words!

Friday, June 21, 2013

On second thought...

I am upset, disappointed and angry... at him.
But you are right... if I fall to his level, the kids will pay for it and this is the one thing I do not want, to put them in the middle. I want to protect them from this, make it all better... and if that means swallowing all this... then this is what I will do.
I know MY priorities are straight... his are money and power. George, sadly, none will keep you warm at night, nurse you back to health, hold you or help you.
Good luck to you. And as the song says "you're going to catch a cold from the ice inside your soul".

Update on our court case

Yesterday we had our court date for the temporary custody of the boys. My lawyer and I were asking for alimony for the boys only (who have special needs as you know). We have two cars, both of which I paid but the better car is under his name. The small, old, second hand car I bought him a year and a half ago, he wrecked, but it is under my name. So he gets to keep the decent car and I get the wrecked car :(

He also claimed he cannot pay for his sons and he can give 200 Euros a month. So things will be tough for a bit.
He didn't ask about his sons, yesterday or today. In fact the ONLY thing he cared about was paying as little as possible (100 Euros per kid per month) and get the better car back.
I am extremely upset. Not for the car but because deep down I thought he loved them and cared and wanted to give them the best life possible.
It is not so...

So here I am, I will not excuse him anymore. George hurt us, financially, physically, mentally. He beat his sons, he threw things at me, he told me time and time again everything was my fault, I was worthless. For 12 years I walked on eggshells around him. I shouldn't upset him, I shouldn't make him yell.. but the explosion always came .. it is called abuse. The boys and I were abused.

I know I got the better part of the deal. I got my sons... but I cannot, not worry about the future. How will I make ends meet? I know somehow I will make it through. I will sculpt more, the twins will come out soon, I will sculpt more vinyls in the future... somehow I know things will work out.
But for now... right now, this moment... I am worried. I have 80 Euros in my account but I know I will manage, I have faith (and lots of eggs and flour in the house ;))

I am disappointed... I am disappointed because all these years he kept telling us that he is doing all of this for me, for us... Yet we never saw a penny. I got a list of things he wanted me to buy very often and if I didn't have money, we didn't do anything (i.e. take us to the movies). Honestly, I do not know why I am surprised. He was a horrible father and husband. BUT, the big picture is, I might drive a shitty car and lose the good one I paid for... loose all the nice stuff we had at home (since he kept it all)... but *I* got the most important thing... THE BOYS!!!
One day, when is old and gray and alone he will understand.

Oh and I am NOT going to excuse him anymore. The next time the boys ask why we can't go to a movie or buy an extra item, I will flat out tell them "because your dad doesn't give us money". Also I will never say to them again "don't mind him, he is just mad because of work, he loves you". He does NOT love them or want them and I will make sure they know exactly who he is...

Your prayers are appreciated. Thank you for your kind messages :) WE WILL THRIVE... we just need to find our balance again... I will NOT give up!!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

New OOAK for sale plus bonus baby!!

Hello everyone,
If you are following me on FB you might have read that I have left my husband and the boys and I have moved out.
We are doing ok, we are adjusting and getting into our new routine.
Some days it feels like a dream :)
Here's to better days ahead!!

I have something really cute to offer you today.
Little Elodie is an 8 to 10" baby, sculpted to resemble a "just born" baby girl. The details on her are amazing!!!
She comes with her "mini me" Elodie as a bonus. Unfortunately mini Elodie has a small separation mark around her neck (white line) so she is offered with big Elodie for free.
Elodie can be dressed carefully and will come with the two piece outfit as shown.
I am only asking 265 Euros shipped for BOTH babies. This is an awesome price!!
Please e-mail me if you are interested!! I accept PayPal.


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