Fevers, chills and coughs...

I thought if you are an adult you are supposed to have a strong immune system... before having kids, I was never sick... except that first year I went into teaching. I was sick all year long that year... but after that, I wasn't and I stayed that way until I had the boys... and ever since then, I've been getting everything they have been getting, every single time and because they are usually sick all through the winter, *I* am sick through 90% of the winter.

See, the problem is, that us mommies don't get a break when we are sick. My husband's words are infamous; when I told him "Honey, I am so sick, I can't stand up" he replied "Well, take something then and make us something to eat, we are hungry!" (by "take something" he means some pill).
Buuuut, when HE is sick, he is like "Ow ow ow I am DYING I tell ya, my nose is stuffy, my throat hurts and I will surely DIE I tell ya!" lol :)

So for the past 10 days I've been "hanging on" except yesterday and the day before that, I've taken a turn for the worse...today wasn't so bad and I actually got some work done too...then when the sun went down, OMGosh, I feel so bad it's not even funny. I can feel the fever rising and I took a 45 minute long SHOWER just because I couldn't bear the thought of getting out of the tub and leaving that glorious, steaming, hot water behind... you know... in the tub... where it can't come over me in luxurious hot waves to take away my fever... and the best part?
G is on duty tonight...and he took the last four pills of Comtrex!!! (note: cold and flu symptom relieving medicine)
I felt better this morning so I let him have it with him...and now I don't feel so good at all and I have no medication to get me back on my feet... and I have promised pictures to someone and it's 11pm and I can't drag myself out of bed (Yes I am writing this from my netbook in bed!) to do that and I feel SOOOO bad...
Will you send some healing vibes my way? This stupid cold is kicking my butt for 10 days now... enough already!
And if this turns out to be swine flu, they'd better get me some Relenza or something otherwise I might kill someone!! ;)

If you feel yucky and you know it...

... stay at home!!

Yuck! I've been feeling a little sick for a few days now but since it's been a "few days" I figured I wouldn't actually get *very* sick and I would escape with only the runny nose and the sore throat.
BIG mistake!! Ha! Since yesterday I've had the full blown symptoms!! My eyes won't actually open all the way up, I am dizzy which combined with my usual clumsiness is NOT a good combination, my head weighs a ton, my bones hurt and I have green and brown goo coming out of my nose.. Y U C K!!!!

So if you have e-mailed me and haven't heard from me, sorry girls, I will get back to you. Today is a national holiday (our equivalent of the 4th July) so I am taking this day off, since G is home to look after the boys and I will just burry myself under the duvet and stay there!
Well it's 3pm here, so I mean, starting now, since this morning I was dragged to a photoshoot and I am sure all the pictures are blurry because I was so dizzy, I am not even sure what I was taking pictures of... ha!

I have so many new things to show you too and I have one of the resins for sale too but all this has to wait until I can get back on my feet... give me a couple of days and massive doses of Vit C and I should be back to normal... sort of.

Blaaaah

I started sneezing yesterday and this morning I woke up with a sore throat and feeling blah... It didn't help that the school sent us a letter yesterday saying they had their first confirmed H1N1 case (not in the boys' class) but the authorities instructed them not to close down the school and that the child did not exhibit any symptoms while in school yadda yadda yadda.
And it doesn't help my boys both have runny noses... but then again who doesn't? The weather is so wacked up, everyone is sick with a cold.
I just feel blah... and I hate it!

BTW, that toddler I was mentioning in my earlier post, is a mini, just in case you were wondering ;)

The world's cutest toddler...

I dug her/him up yesterday and have decided on her/his fate. S/he must be a two year old sculpt by now but OMGosh s/he is gorgeous...
And just because I am mean, I won't show you any pictures or tell you when I will do with her/him until it is done... I CAN however guarantee one thing: you will be able to afford to adopt this toddler AND s/he will become one of your favorites :)

(Almost) 4 years ago...

In 3 weeks my little boys will turn FOUR years old... FOUR!! Where did the time go??
Last night, I was dressing my little John and I could feel every bone in his body!!
He is on the losing slope again and I am getting desperate for him to eat...anything!! Just as long as he eats and the dark circles are gone from his eyes and he has his energy back...

I realized that I have been asking God for help in every turn since the boys were born, or even before.
I prayed for years month in month out, that THIS time, THIS therapy/pill/surgery will work and I will get pregnant... When I got pregnant with them and lost their triplet, I remember thinking "I am still pregnant though". I guess in the back of my mind, I was worried something might go wrong.
I waited at the edge of my seat for magic week 24, the cusp of viability and was amazed to make it to week 36.
But since hindsight is 20/20, I now realize that that drawn faces, the long and very frequent ultrasounds and the collective sigh of relief that filled the operating room when John came out of me, screaming, were all signs that there was in fact something very wrong my with my baby, even before he was born...

I really thought that since he was born only 4 weeks premature (and was a further 4 weeks behind in development at birth so the size and developmental age of a 32 weeker), he would be OK. I mean, 36 weeks, pretty good huh? Other babies never see the door to the NICU at this age (like his twin who was a whooping 6lbs 3oz 19" at birth).
Then why is my son struggling so at almost 4 years of age?
Aren't preemies supposedly caught up by age 2?

Thoughts like these flood my mind and even though I am immensely grateful for my little boys, the havoc that John's diagnosis and Special Needs have caused, is immense.
I am so changed since I've had them, but the big shocker, the core shaker, was that visit to the neurologist 2 years ago today... when my fears were confirmed. I came out the other side, stronger, better and more in love with them than ever... but the aftermath is still felt.
My husband and I, the love of my life, grew apart. Him, not able to control his anxiety, became abusive to me :(
My work suffered, and even though I feel I am turning around (my waiting times and quality of work have been improved in the last 6 months), it is still difficult some days to find the will, the desire and even the time to work.

In only 3 weeks, I will make two cakes (John wants Power Rangers and Cody, Transformers!), decorate the apartment and have our families and a couple of friends over ... the day before I will decorate their classroom and bake cupcakes (PR and Transformers of course) for their classmates.

Did I find raising twins difficult? In all honesty, no. Seriously, I didn't find it hard at all... I stuck to my schedule and my routines and things went very smooth.
What I do find hard is therapy, the worrying and seeing your child standing apart from all the others because his brain and body are not "normal" whatever this means...
And it drains me more and more each day that I can't make it right... I can't make him whole... there is a portion of his brain that is dead and will never function again.
And yet, this amazing little guy is all mine... and he is who he is because of his brain being like that and I love him exactly because his brain is like that... I just worry about him, that's all and I hate I have to put him through all this just for a chance in "normal".
Both boys are taking their therapies like troopers though. I think it is harder on me than it is on them.

Cody has progressed SO much with his Speech Therapy and Occupational therapy. On most days, you can't even tell he has ADHD and he has an amazing imagination!! He is still a momma's boy but he is a very stubborn little one as well.
He is still on the 99% for height and weight and everybody always thinks he is 6 years old! He can chat for hours this child!! He LOVES stories, absolutely LOVES stories and he makes up his own. I feed his imagination every chance I get :)
I don't mention Cody much, not because I love him any less but his "special needs" aren't really all that special. Yes he needs work in some areas but he is more or less "neurotypical" and some times people misunderstand and think I don't love Cody as much... this is so absurd, it's like telling me I can stop my heart from beating or me chosing a "favorite" finger above all others.
I love my boys equally but I also do take the opportunity to talk about John more, his daily life, his accomplishments and his difficulties in hopes of helping others in whose shoes I once was; new mom, scared, overwhelmed and with little support...

Thanks for reading my little "vent"... now back to your regular schedule all about dolls ;)

New baby on eBay for One Day Only

For one day only, this rare hospital grade mannequin on eBay. Reserve is $700 but Free Shipping with BIN.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300354013722&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT
Have a look :)

Every.Single.Time!!

You can be absolutely certain of a few things in life and one of them is, you are going to die! Apparently there is one more: when Tina has a show coming up, things will go haywire... because things going as planned and letting Tina work in peace for that show, would be too easy...

When we employed a nanny, an expensive necessity since the boys couldn't go to daycare and I had no other help, I could be sure for one thing: my shows coincided with the time our nanny wanted to visit her native country and invariably, just weeks before a show, I was left alone with the boys, able to work only a few hours each night after they were in bed. Every.Single.Time in the 3 1/2 years we've had her, this happened.

Then, when I couldn't afford the nanny any longer, I had a summer of craziness in which I flopped around like a fish out of water and while I *tried* very hard to be consistent with my work, the boys decided to go through that crazy phase of wanting mommy every.2.minutes...especially if she was doing anything other than sit with them. Again I found myself working at night and I dragged a tired me out of bed every morning knowing there would be no nap, no time off and no five minutes of peace while they were awake. And I won't even go into how hectic their schedule is, because lets not forget my John has special needs and Cody, who is not considered special needs, has therapy also for his ADHD and Speech.
So ok, we got through the summer... and September, glorious September came, and the boys started SCHOOL!!!

My life changed: I would get up at 6.30am every morning, while everyone else enjoyed a few more minutes of sleep and I would start breakfast, pack carefully prepared healthy lunches in tiny red Transformers lunch boxes, put out clothes that I spent long minutes in carefully matching and then at 7am I would go into their room, singing the "Good morning" song and get two little sleepy heads up for the day.
I would then rush around getting them dressed, getting hubby his breakfast and of course being cross with him, because he could see we were running late and he wouldn't help dress a noodle legged boy and off we would go ...
I would drive 30 minutes through heavy, heavy traffic and then try to find somewhere to park the car so I could get the boys out of their carseats and into school before the bell, which would have been fine, except about 100 other parents were trying to do the exact same thing at the exact same time as me... and then.... then... I would get into an empty car and let out a sigh...

I could work at home until it was time to go pick them up again. And for 3 weeks I worked fine... I got loads of things done, I shipped dolls, finished orders and my to-do list has gone way down in things to-do!
Then this past week came... and on Friday and Monday (tomorrow) the schools are closed because we have elections today (Sunday).
And on Thursday the boys started coughing up a lung... and then yesterday *I* caught it... and I wasn't able to work much on Friday... and I won't work tomorrow, Monday. And my dad got diagnosed with cancer and had his surgery on Thursday and I got a parking ticket of $120!!! when I went to be with him at the hospital.
And today, I hardly had any sleep between John being very sick and throwing up from all the coughing, me feeling very sick my throat swollen to three times its size and of course, OF COURSE, they (the Navy) chose George to be on duty today!!

So let me re-cap. I have two very sick little boys, I am sick myself to the point I see double, my dad had surgery and he has no-one else for help except me and he is home since yesterday because the crappy hospital needed the bed, I need to go VOTE (it's mandatory in Greece) and my husband won't be home for another 36hrs.
I can't go to my dad because if I give him the virus, bye bye with his cancer and surgery and all and of course I need to prepare for the show for which I am leaving for in 5 days!

EVERY.SINGLE.TIME I have a show, the Universe shows just how much it hates me... I can count on it, if I have a show, the world will come tumbling down on me... With odds like these, I should have been able to win the Lottery right?
Sigh... Will you please, say a prayer for us? I am losing it!
Please pray the the boys will be better tomorrow so that I can send them to school Tuesday! Please!! I need the hours to work!!! And gather my brain... btw have you seen my brain?
The whole thing makes me feel good about not attending the June show...
Universe, why do you hate me? :(