When we found out we were having twins after loosing their triplet and thinking for a couple of weeks, we were left with one baby, everyone said things like "Oh boy, you are in for it now!"... of course none of those had twins..
4+ years later and I look back and yes it has been tough BUT not *that* tough. Yes I had to do everything twice, yes I didn't get much sleep in the last 4 years but, really, the good times were much better than the tough. The rough times were when I was sick and the boys were sick, I had to go on very little physical energy and very little sleep. The problem is that by now, one good night's sleep won't actually do me any good because by now I am chronically tired. I haven't slept a full night in 4+ years with few exceptions (like when I am away for a show).
Last night was one of those nights. In fact this whole week has been a living H!
It started Monday morning (a National Holiday) when Cody's tooth started aching. He stopped eating... he swelled up, his dentist is sick and wouldn't see him and I looked around for another one but couldn't find one who would take on a 4 year old former preemie with the worst tooth quality ever!
Today is Thursday and although the antibiotics and round the clock pain killers have helped and the dentist will see him today, Cody still hasn't eaten ANYTHING. His lips are parched, his skin is white and he has black circles under his eyes... I am pretty sure at this point he is afraid to eat or drink because he will just put the tip of the straw on his lips and then start crying that it hurt... without the milk going into his mouth/on his tooth!
The heartbreaking part was him putting his little hands together and asking God to heal his tooth... then turning to me and asking ME to heal his tooth.
And I am embarrassed to say that *I* got mad at God because, what loving God lets a 4 year old hurt like that when I have specifically asked Him to give ME the pain and leave my boy alone?!
Then of course I felt awful for being mad at God :(
Then yesterday, John was acting funky. I wasn't feeling too good myself as I have some sort of virus for the last 10 days now, my tonsils are swollen and I am not so hot myself. So yesterday I was about to take Cody to the hospital, and John was not eating anything and was whiny and clingy and a little hot to the touch and John is NOT a child who can afford to skip meals, literally.
Night time came and John couldn't settle down to sleep and John loves his sleep. By that time I had Cody in our bed so I could keep on top of his medications (they couldn't do anything at the hospital because of the swelling so we have to wait for the antibiotics to work before they open the tooth) and John would NOT sleep on his own... so I took one of couch pillows and put it on the floor next to our bed because I TRIED to sleep with both boys in it and we wouldn't fit!
The puking started just after midnight..
For the next 7 hours John would BEG me for water and even the tiniest spoonful would make him puke... He couldn't sleep, I couldn't sleep and what's worse I couldn't comfort him! Nothing made him feel better!!
At 6.30 am, I sent a text to our former nanny BEGGING her to come in today to help me... and she did! And I slept! Oh Godly glory, I slept from 8.30 until 11.30am! Three glorious uninterrupted hours of sleep. And then... oh boy, THEN I took a long shower... and I feel so much better now all clean and a little rested..
So you see, THIS is what I find difficult about raising twins... Trying to comfort both but not quite succedding and your own reserves running low as well... When I woke up John had managed to keep some water and juice down for several hours but he looks awful!! Poor baby... Cody seems a little chattier so that's good and his cheeks aren't red today AND he drank 200ml of milk, first thing he's had in days!! So today I hope the dentist removes the nerve from the tooth and starts the sealing process so Cody at least won't be in pain. I know we have many visits ahead (and LOADS of $$ to spend, she is GOOD but OMGosh EXPENSIVE) but as long as he isn't in pain right?
And I SO hope John only has this 24 hour stomach bug thing, seriously...
Please keep us in your prayers. We Greeks really believe in the Evil Eye and I'm sorry, but too much has happened to us one after the other for me to thing it is NOT ill thoughts and dark intentions that bring us one thing after the other...