Wednesday, February 16, 2011

This morning

This morning I woke up after two weeks of extreme stress with the boys going through the "system" and evaluations (today is the last one), with a headache, a very heavy heart and my nerves felt shattered.
I was so tired, I didn't take them school, I couldn't get out of bed and I couldn't get THEM out of bed either...

I feel if someone touches me, I will slap him.. I am so TENSE, I've been screaming all day. This is not good... I just had a nervous breakdown on the phone. I need to take Cody to his child-psych evaluation in less than an hour. I can't even THINK straight. I do not know what is wrong with me but suddenly the drugs the psychiatrist I have been seeing, offered, sound like a good idea. Maybe something light to get me to function again...

It is exhausting to be in charge for two boys, who at age 5+, one would think, would be somewhat independent and able to play FOR FIVE FRACKING MINUTES ON THEIR OWN!!!!
Ok I am doing it AGAIN... this is NOT my day.

I just wanted to let everyone know I am turning my PC off for the day.. I can't take it. I just need some peace and quiet, to get down and catch up with work and maybe once I am caught up, I will feel better in general... so please do not worry if you do not hear from me today. I will still get through work but I just need to focus right now... get the evaluation over with, get the boys to my MIL for a few hrs, sit down and complete some orders so I can breath easier and feel better all around.
I think work is the one thing that calms me right now...

I will be back tomorrow with photos and news of completed work all around I hope... I just need ONE day to really focus... and maybe that will stop me from screaming at everyone ..and no I don't feel better afterwards either... this sucks :(


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