Ever since having the boys, well, a couple of years after I had them, I have been toying with the idea of having another baby... But I have been unsure actually... I had tried to make up my mind so while I was sitting in a park with the (now older) boys playing around and me not having to run around a toddler, I would say to myself "Imagine if you had a baby right now.... and she or he was crying...and you had to leave... or the baby was toddler and you were running around after it while keeping an eye on the older two... Surely you don't want another baby...!!!"
So basically I had been trying to talk myself out of it... for years.
Yet that stupid voice keeps chirping in my head going "baby this, baby that"... and the desire just won't unroot no matter how I try, no matter how sound my arguments are... On extremelly hard and disappointing days, the voice is silenced and the desire is blanketed temporarily... but just like my "bubbly" positivity, it keeps coming back (to my logic's dismay).
So I went around, thinking I didn't really know if I wanted a baby or not... until I actually had a shot at being pregnant this month... My friend Kris posted this on her Facebook page last night: "