Someday..

Someday, 20:50pm will come and go and I won't notice...
Someday, I will be able to take another deep breath and it will not catch...
Someday, I will only remember his voice, his laugh, his smile, his sparkling eyes...
Someday, I will be able to talk about him and I will only smile...

One day, some day, but not today or tomorrow or in a month or in six months...
It's been one week almost to the minute. 15 minutes ago, a week ago, I was hovering behind a closed hospital room door while the doctors determined he had really, really taken his last breath in this world... One day, the image of his gray skin, colored by death imminent will be forever replaced by the familiar image of him smiling his half crooked, charming smile... but it was his eyes that always smiled more, sparkling like diamonds...

I miss you Daddy... you were my favorite person in the entire world aside from my kids, the person I loved the most, I needed the most...
Someday I will learn how to go on without you, and I will stop thinking "I should call Dad, I haven't heard from him today"... I will glide through life again effortlesly, fully accustomed to my new "normal"...

I promise you, I will make you very proud. I will be the person you wanted me to be... and I will never stop sculpting the babies you loved so, so much. You were the proudest dad you said, sharing my dolls with anyone who had time to look through the photos.

Others pay tribute by signing, painting, writing songs and poems... I sculpt. That's what I do, that's the tribute I can offer.

I love you Daddy... I miss you so, so much...