Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

For as long as I can remember, all I wanted was to be a mom... sure, I would go to University (College if you on the "other side of the pond") and hold my own job (check) but I would also marry someone wearing a uniform (check), and we would have kids... lots of kids!

For as long as I can remember, I was into sculpting as well, I was into creating, anything and everything... sculpting was my greatest love but before that I drew and sketched, before that, I would play with Play Doh for hours upon hours... When I was 19, my desire for an offspring, combined with my passion for sculpting and my first clay baby was born... 12 whole years ago.
I cannot believe it will be 12 years this September!!

I loved creating the babies, however I never dared to treat them like such. I preferred to allow someone else to be their "mommy"... my desire for kids fueled my art but that was as far as I dared go.
When I married George, I was 23 and he was (and is) the love of my life... we started trying for a child before I turned 25 but it wasn't until doctors intervened that two years later, filled with procedures, tests, drugs, more tests, a miscarriage, more procedures and a lot of praying, I would fall pregnant this time to last.. all through those 2 years, my sculpting kept me sane... Surely if I could create a baby with my hands, my body would eventually "get it" too, right?

Today I am celebrating my 4th Mother's Day. I made my own mother's day special by giving her a copy of my book with a hand written inscription.
My boys made my day special by being in my life. They are still too young to know it's Mother's Day but I am sure they will make me something next year when they are in school. I can't wait to fill the little box I have with hand made trinkets from them!
They also made my day special by overflowing the bathtub and adding "waste an hour moping the water" to my "To Do" list for the day ;)

My sons have made our lives extremely complicated and difficult. They have put an enormous strain on our time, our budget and our marriage. Raising kids is hard..raising kids when one has special needs is harder. There are days when I can barely keep afloat and there are days when I luxuriously swim in the ocean of motherhood under a hot, care-free sky.
My boys give me slobbery kisses, wake me up at night (yes, they are still not sleeping through at 3.5 years old) and are always there, with sticky chocolate fingers, to hug me when I am wearing white and I am just about to go out... They have this magical power... one smile, one kiss, one "I love you mommy" and I am as right as rain again.

They are also there to look at me with admiration in their eyes when I put on my flowered frock, when the whole world thinks I look like a ginormous flowery whale, all they can say is I look like a Princess.
I possess magical powers and all they ask when they are hurt is a kiss to make it better .. when they are scared, a tight hug sets their whole world straight...
Yes, my sons made everything so much difficult and intense for me... my stress level has increased ten fold... but they filled my heart to the brink and they will never look into my eyes and wonder if they were wanted...

Happy Mother's day to each and every one of you...
What did your little ones give you today?


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